Tag Archives: lesbian

Lame Adventure 472: New York City Gay Pride Parade 2016

If anyone has noticed, I’ve been on an extended hiatus from the blogosphere, completely enjoying life in the real world. One Lame Adventure tradition that’s inspired me to surface is covering New York’s Gay Pride parade with my pal, Milton. We have been constant sideline fixtures at this parade for several years, so constant that we actually appeared in a crowd shot on our local TV news in 2015. I will be forever grateful that it was not our sweating mugs in close up.

This year, it seemed to us that there were a record number of participants as well as a record turnout watching from the sidelines. Or, maybe we just showed up too late to get a good spot to shoot photos. This inflated tube courtesy of T Mobile marred almost every picture we tried to take.

View hog.

View hog.

One aspect of the parade I loathe is the flood of corporate sponsorship, but I realize the overt pandering for LGBT dollars is a reflection of just how far gay people have come since the Stonewall riots in 1969.

Delta Airlines shilling for LGBT dollars.

Delta Airlines shilling for LGBT dollars.

There were also the usual suspect politicians marching including our mayor, Bill de Blasio, governor, Andrew Cuomo and Senator Chuck Schumer.

Senator Chuck Schumer marching and bullhorning.

Senator Chuck Schumer marching and bullhorning.

There were anemic cheers for the trickle of die-hard Bernie Sanders marchers and thunderous applause for Hillary Clinton’s tsunami of foot soldiers.

Message from member of Hillary contingent.

Message from member of Hillary contingent.

We did not see Hillary. She marched the last two blocks of the parade when she joined de Blasio and Cuomo at the route’s end in Greenwich Village.

This year, paying tribute to the victims of the shooting massacre at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando was in the forefront of the march. The most moving homage to the victims was 49 silent marchers shrouded in white veils wearing signs with a photograph of each victim. It was like seeing 49 ghosts.

Haunting sight of 49 ghosts.

Haunting sight of 49 ghosts.

But it was far from a somber parade. The tragedy in Orlando seemed to inspire more people to march with both joyful abandon and a greater sense of purpose.

Dykes on bikes at parade's start.

Dykes on bikes at parade’s start.

Joyful pedal pushers.

Joyful pedal pushers.

Guys on bikes.

Guys on bikes.

Fancy footwear man.

Fancy footwear man.

The glad hatter.

The glad hatter.

Here comes the bride and bride.

Here comes the bride and bride.

Oh good, someone remembered to bring the double halo penis sign.

Oh good, someone remembered to bring the double halo penis sign.

Queen for a day, or maybe forever.

Queen for a day, or maybe forever.

Aching headdress.

Aching headdress.

Dry clean only.

Dry clean only.

Gays against guns.

Gays against guns.

Good idea.

Good idea.

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Lame Adventure 465: Here comes the Pride

Last Friday morning, I was sitting at my desk at The Grind when I noticed an alert on my iPhone.

Wow!!!!

Wow!!!!

Even though I thought the odds were good that the Supreme Court would rule in favor of same sex marriage, it still seemed remarkable. The cynic in me, which coincidentally comprises 99.9% of my being, never thought that this day would happen in my lifetime. Much to my relief I still have a pulse.

This past Sunday, I attended the Gay Pride Parade on Fifth Avenue with my friend, Milton. The atmosphere, on the heels of this historic ruling, was euphoric. Posted below are some of the more than 1,100 photographs he and I shot of the celebration.

Well said ... even if the placard was corporate sponsored.

Well said … even if the placard was corporate sponsored.

Manly cake toppers.

Manly cake toppers.

Jubilant marcher all wrapped up in the rainbow flag.

Jubilant marcher all wrapped up in the rainbow flag.

Yes, it is!

Yes, it is!

Dancing in the street and left the baseball cap at home.

Dancing in the street and left the baseball cap at home.

Togetherness.

Togetherness.

Grand marshal Sir Derek Jacobi.

Grand marshal Sir Derek Jacobi.

Grand marshal Sir Ian McKellen.

Grand marshal Sir Ian McKellen.

Lea Delaria making a grand entrance to the delight of the crowd.

Lea Delaria making a grand entrance in a vintage gas guzzler to the delight of the crowd.

Bearadonna's back!

Bearadonna’s back!

Little kid marching.

Little kid marching.

Easy rider.

Easy rider.

Easiest rider.

Easiest rider.

The perfect place and occasion to don the gay apparel.

The perfect place and occasion to don the gay apparel.

What the hell is it pride.

What the hell is it pride.

Super charged dude who slipped and fell a split second after this picture was taken. He bounced right back up.

Super charged dude who slipped and fell a split second after this picture was taken. He bounced right back up.

Hello Carmen Miranda!

Hello Carmen Miranda!

Happy faces.

Happy faces.

Got makeup?

Got makeup?

Pride shades.

Pride shades.

Love rules husbands.

Love rules husbands.

Wife & wife.

Wife & wife.

New York Police band playing "Here Comes the Bride."

New York Police band playing “Here Comes the Bride.”

Impressive tattoo.

Impressive tattoo.

What the hell is this?

What the hell is this?

Good advice.

Good advice.

US of Pride.

US of Pride.

Time to wear the golden wings.

Time to wear the golden wings.

Euphoria.

Euphoria.

High energy.

High energy.

Pride pooch.

Pride pooch.

Everyone is welcome and bring the toucan.

Everyone is welcome and bring the toucan.

Nice smiles.

Nice smiles.

Corporate sponsor Chase and an exposed breast.

Corporate sponsor Chase and an exposed breast: together at last.

One size probably does not fit all.

One size probably does not fit all.

More what the hell is it?

More what the hell is it?

Flag tossing.

Flag tossing.

Proud couple.

Proud couple.

Hitching a ride.

Hitching a ride.

Dominatrix with cellphone pride.

Dominatrix with riding crop and cellphone pride.

Waving the flag of the Republic of China.

Waving the flag of the Republic of China.

Pucker up.

Pucker up.

That time of year to wear the rainbow kilt.

That time of year to wear the rainbow kilt.

What the hell is this now?

What the hell is this now?

No so basic black attire.

Not so basic black attire.

Statement cape.

Statement cape.

Riding in style.

Riding in style.

Marchers waving flags.

Marchers waving flags.

Gay dads and their wee one.

Gay dads and their wee one.

What you see is what you get: red headdress and stilt walkers.

What you see is what you get: red headdress and stilt walkers.

Japanese Kabuki fan pride.

Japanese Kabuki fan pride.

Novel way to wear football shoulder pads.

Novel way to wear football shoulder pads.

Pride hijinks.

Pride hijinks.

Dancing in the street.

Dancing in the street.

Seriously hitched.

Seriously hitched.

Pride and joy and iced tea.

Pride and joy and iced tea.

Proud couple.

Proud couple.

Then, when it was all over, Milton and I returned to our respective sanctum sanctorums. I began writing this post and he turned on the TV news where he saw who else, but us.

Bald guy and short woman to his right: Milton and me at Pride 2015.

Bald guy and short woman clad in black in center of frame: Milton and me at Pride 2015.

The Empire State Building celebrating Pride.

The Empire State Building celebrating Pride.

Lame Adventure 451: Appropriate Behavior

Recently I attended a screening at the Film Society of Lincoln Center of Appropriate Behavior, a romantic comedy set in Brooklyn about hipsters. Shirin is an Iranian-American bisexual obsessing about Maxine, her cool butch lesbian ex-girlfriend, following their crash and burn breakup. The story time travels back and forth when they were happily together in the recent past with newly single Shirin disastrously coping in her miserable present. My expectations for this film hovered at the bottom of the ocean. Much to my surprise, I found this briskly paced debut feature by screenwriter-director-star, Desiree Akhavan, who plays Shirin, entertaining. It’s witty, she’s pretty and this edgy tale is packed with sex, angst and colorful glimpses into Iranian American culture and customs.

What’s not to like?

Something I wasn’t wild about was The Knuckle Dragger who stood directly in front of me completely blocking my view after the film ended, just as the q&a was about to start. Eventually, Lurch realized that they had more in common with a door than a window. Often, I find the questions asked in film screening q&a’s painfully stupid. For example:

Audience Member: How many of you [actors] were playing yourself?

Did this person think that Akhavan had directed a documentary?

Desiree Akhavan standing as she fields audience questions.

Desiree Akhavan (standing) as she fields audience questions.

Akhavan, who has extensively screened her film on the festival circuit, was an admirable pro fielding such an idiotic question that drew audience gasps or maybe I was just hearing the sound of my own less than silent GERD. I later realized that it could be interpreted as a backhanded compliment. Akhavan did a commendable job directing her actors who were very well cast. She and Rebecca Henderson, who plays Maxine, had palpable chemistry.

Akhavan has been referred to as “the Persian Lena Dunham”. Dunham is a major player in the zeitgeist and no doubt Akhavan would love to follow that “it” girl’s influential lead. The comparisons are obvious: Akhavan has screen presence, a clever way with words and she is very comfortable both behind and in front of the camera. For the fourth and current season of Girls, Dunham has written Akhavan into her hit series. That strikes me as a vote of confidence from Dunham to Akhavan.

During the q&a Akhavan admitted that her screenplay was influenced by Woody Allen’s Annie Hall. In lieu of revealing any spoilers, I detected some homage to Mike Nichols’ The Graduate. Appropriate Behavior also brought to mind an early Ang Lee film, The Wedding Banquet, a romantic comedy about an Asian American son’s anxiety over admitting that he is gay to his immigrant parents. Shirin is in the closet to her parents. The stress to come out contributes to her neurosis and adds to her problems with Maxine. Akhavan is blatantly and subtly borrowing from some of the best veteran filmmakers, but I also recognized a unique voice and perspective that is her own. I look forward to seeing what she directs next.

Desiree Akhavan

Desiree Akhavan – you go girl! (Dress from Opening Ceremony for those into knowing that sort of thing).

Appropriate Behavior opens January 16th in New York City at the IFC Center, and theaters in select cities coast to coast. Check local listings. It’s also available on iTunes. Sex, partial nudity, drugs and 90 painless minutes when q&a-free.

Lame Adventure 424: Gay Pride 2014

For the fifth year in a row I have attended Gay Pride with my dear friend, Milton. This celebration in lower Manhattan is the largest Gay Pride event in the country, and probably the world. Together, he and I photograph the march to share it with the Lame Adventures audience. Each year, Pride seems to have more corporate sponsors vying for the LGBT dollar, more politicians attending, signifying the value of the LGBT vote, and an ever growing crowd of marchers participating, many dressed in ordinary street clothes anemically waving a rainbow flag. Milton misses the old days when the majority of the participants were flamboyant. He has concluded that with more and more states allowing same sex marriage:

Milton: We’ve become as boring as everyone else.

Have we?

Glam Dyke on Bike at parade's start.

Glam Dyke on Bike at parade’s start.

Dyke on Bike getting spray misted by Tiny Tim lookalike.

Dyke on Bike getting spray misted by Tiny Tim lookalike.

Obviously, three nipples and one pink flamingo.

Obviously, three nipples and one pink flamingo.

Eagle Scout: the Boy Scouts had quite a presence in this year's festivities.

Eagle Scout: the Boy Scouts had quite a presence in this year’s festivities.

Angel in America.

Angel in America.

Bert and Ernie marching.

Bert and Ernie marching hand in hand.

New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio marching with his daughter, Chiara.

New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio marching with his daughter, Chiara.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo.

New York Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney, a regular Pride attendee.

New York Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney, a regular Pride attendee.

Grand Marshall actor Jonathan Groff.

Grand Marshall actor Jonathan Groff.

Grand Marshall Rea Carey, Executive Director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

Grand Marshall Rea Carey, Executive Director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.

"Orange is the New Black" float, substitute image for third Grand Marshall, LaVerne Cox, a member of that show's cast.

“Orange is the New Black” float, substitute image for third Grand Marshall, Laverne Cox, a member of that TV show’s cast.

Masked Man with Fishnets Friend.

Masked Man with Fishnets Friend.

Masked Man's no heel shoes that Milton found particularly fascinating.

Masked Man’s no heel shoes that Milton found particularly fascinating.

Pretty girls.

Pretty girls. Focusing on them caused me to miss photographing Edie Windsor.

Laser beam stare.

Laser beam stare.

Yes, that is a live bird atop this green bearded bloke's head.

Yes, that is a live bird atop this green bearded bloke’s head.

Live cat atop this guy's head.

Live cat atop this guy’s head.

Getup purchased with a gold card?

Getup purchased with a gold card?

Doing as the Romans do in New York City.

Doing as the Romans do in New York City.

The gladiators are here.

The gladiators are here.

The gay crusader.

The gay crusader.

Gay Yankee ingenuity when you lack a rear pocket.

Gay Yankee ingenuity when you lack a rear pocket.

Rainbow fan girl.

Rainbow fan girl.

Hello!

Hello!

Lesbian and proud, or just stretching her arm.

Lesbian and proud, or just stretching her arm.

Man in yellow literally leaving little to the imagination.

Man in yellow literally leaving little to the imagination.

Hello sailor.

Hello sailor.

Joyous cop.

Joyous cop.

Fleet of foot flag waver.

Fleet of foot flag waver.

Marching incognito.

Marching incognito.

Peacock.

Peacock.

Peacock network banner and a sign of corporate sponsorship.

Peacock network banner and a sign of corporate sponsorship.

Rainbow flag gown. What will they think of next?

Rainbow flag gown. What will they think of next?

Next is here. Hello Beardonna.

Next is here. Hello Beardonna.

Corporate sponsor Mastercard.

Corporate sponsor Mastercard.

Mastering the possibilities.

Mastering the possibilities.

Twerking.

Twerking.

Power pumping the asphalts in pink pumps

Power pumping the asphalt in pink pumps.

Splits and pass us the Aleve.

Splits and pass us the Aleve.

Dancing in the street.

Dancing in the street.

Starred and labeled.

Starred and labeled.

Magnificent!

Magnificent!

Didn't see that coming!

Didn’t see that coming!

Shirtless fellows in rainbow socks.

Shirtless fellows in rainbow socks.

Old Blue and Lavender Hairs.

Old Blue and Lavender Hairs.

Pretty in pink.

Pretty in pink.

Serena Williams cross-bred Ronald McDonald.

Serena Williams cross-bred with Ronald McDonald.

Gay dads with kids.

Gay dads with kids.

Guys in red boxers gyrating on float.

Muscle Beach guys in red boxers gyrating on float.

Israel float and Michael Lucas.

Israel float and Michael Lucas.

Attitude Man.

Attitude Man.

Everyone say cheese and keep your wings still.

Everyone say cheese and keep your wings still.

Nice to know.

Nice to know.

Butterflies aren't free.

Butterflies aren’t free.

Apparently  Pride was watered its way down to Walmart.

Apparently Pride has watered its way down to Walmart.

Gotcha! Shooting the crowd!

Gotcha shooting the crowd.

 

Lame Adventure 421: My First Love

This isn’t the tale about the fetching ten-year-old blue-eyed blonde haired Latina vixen waiting to kick my ass in the schoolyard, encouraged by a devious sixth grader who claimed that I was sweet on her boyfriend, a guy with as much appeal to me as a dented hubcap. Vixen perched on the flagpole’s concrete base eating her breakfast: Fritos. When I entered the playground she called me over by my last name. I sensed danger; she was the type that reeked attitude. She also didn’t talk to innocuous kids like me. Even though I was a year older, she towered over me, a whippet thin and pasty white comic-bookworm. I kept my cool, walked over and groused, “Yeah, what?” My lack of intimidation threw her off her tough girl game. I might have been small but I was feisty, confident that I could talk my way out of this predicament. She got nervous and stammered, “You, you, you like Richie! I don’t like that!” I looked her straight in the eyes and said in a definitive tone, “You’re mistaken. I don’t like him.” Even though her complexion was dark olive, her face flushed crimson. I thought she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my eleven years. She was flummoxed, unsure of what to do next. It was a standoff. I wondered if I was about to say ‘adios’ to my teeth. Instead, she offered me her Fritos. We also shared chemistry and she ditched Richie. Decades later, I’m still finding same sex love in the most unlikely places, but to reiterate, this tale is not about that, it’s about another of my life long passions: animation.

When I was a kid growing up in San Francisco, I had a steady diet of Saturday morning cartoons with my favorites being any fare pumped out by Warner Brothers — Merrie Melodies and Looney Tunes. When I reached my teens in the Seventies I caught a screening of Disney’s Fantasia at the Larkin, a movie house that seemed determined to play the re-release of this masterpiece in perpetuity. It featured the early work of the animator John Hubley. He participated on “The Rite of Spring” segment. At that time I was enrolled in the Teenage Animation Workshop at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. Not only did kids get hands on experience animating their own films, the instructors enlightened us about the pioneers of the craft, including Hubley, whose frequent collaborator was his wife, Faith.

Hubley left Disney in 1941 during the animators’ strike. Next, he joined United Productions of America where he created Mr. Magoo, based on an uncle. Due to the blacklist, he was forced to leave UPA because he refused to name names before the House Committee on Un-American Activities. Next, he founded his own company, Storyboard Studios. There, he made animated TV commercials, including the Maypo cereal ads.

With Faith, he continued to direct his own independent animated films, films that resonated with me. They often featured soundtracks with jazz greats. My favorite Hubley film is a timeless six-minute impressionistic love story made in 1958 called The Tender Game. The soundtrack features the Oscar Peterson Trio with Ella Fitzgerald delivering a satin smooth vocal on the song, Tenderly.

When I first saw this film about forty years ago, I was certain I wanted to be an animator. When I informed my mother about my goal, her reaction was comparable to what a mom of today might think if her daughter announced that she aspired to be a pole dancer. 1974 was decades before the arrival of Pixar. Animation, particularly the independent style of animation, was a guaranteed one-way ticket to the poorhouse. My mother feared that she and my father would be stuck supporting me forever. In college, I shifted gears and earned my degree in live action filmmaking. I worked for almost ten years in TV commercial film production. Eventually, I lost interest in making films on my own, preferring to write unmarketable screenplays.

In honor of the centennial of John Hubley’s birth, Manhattan’s Film Forum is holding two tribute screenings of his work. The first screening, this past Tuesday, included The Tender Game.

Ray Hubley delivering an introduction about his father before the screening.

Ray Hubley delivering an introduction about his father before the screening.

I attended with my colleague, Godsend. It was a delight to see this classic short in a pristine 35 mm color print.

When an event is shown for one screening it doesn't make the marquee.

Film Forum under blue skies.

Considering that this weekend starts summer, and all the promises that come during the warm weather months, embedded below is a crummy quality YouTube video of The Tender Game. The story is set in the fall, but falling in love is not seasonal, unless I missed that memo. Even though the characters are abstract the emotion is familiar, and the overall effect is quite charming.

 

Lame Adventure 382: Big Apple Gay Pride Parade 2013

Sunday was the annual Gay Pride march in Manhattan. Milton and I attended with cameras in tow. It was an exuberant celebration on the heels of the Supreme Court’s recent decision overturning the Domestic Marriage Act as well as clearing the way for same sex couples to resume having the right to wed in California. The victorious DOMA plaintiff, 84-year-old Edie Windsor, was one of the parade’s three grand marshals. Seeing her was quite a high.

This is also a mayoral election year in New York City. Christine Quinn, the openly lesbian Speaker of the New York City Council, is a mayoral candidate who has recently received Edie’s endorsement. Quinn is leading in the polls today, but former Congressman Anthony Weiner is gaining on her and possibly Public Advocate Bill de Blasio has an outside chance, too. It’s a long way between June and November.

Aside from politicians avidly courting the LGBT voter, the parade was also heavy with product placement in hot pursuit of the LGBT dollar. Big corporations that participated include Delta Airlines, AT&T, Citibank and Coca Cola. Macy’s, Whole Foods and Kiehls had a strong presence, too. Vitamin Water had some poor schmuck or schmuck-ette dressed like a bottle of water march in the steam heat. Overall, the parade was primarily about LGBT people compelled to cheer their recent victories, strut their stuff and feel good about whom they are.

On a personal note, I am very pleased to announce that I experienced my own triumph this year. I did not suffer any further hearing loss, step in any fetid puddles or deep fry any body part, all mishaps I have suffered in past years while covering this annual event with Milton for Lame Adventures. Naturally, I half-expected to find myself swallowed by the sidewalk, but that didn’t happen, either. Therefore, I’ll let the pictures we shot tell the rest of the story.

Love is in the air.

Pride and victory are in the air.

Then, there is this woman who let it all hang out for the duration.

Then, there is this woman who let it all hang out for the duration.

Feeling pumped waiting for the march to start.

Feeling pumped waiting for the march to start.

Dykes on bikes kick it off!

Dykes on bikes kick it off!

The good hair day twins.

The good hair day twins.

The annual showing of balloons.

The annual showing of balloons.

Milton thought this chap's leotard was Dorothy Hamil-inspired.

Milton thought this chap’s leotard was Dorothy Hamil-inspired. His flower made me crave sunflower seeds.

Our award for Best Sign.

The Lame Adventures award for Best Sign.

Grand Marshall Harry Belafonte!

Grand Marshall Harry Belafonte!

Grand Marshall Edie Windsor in hat with red band.

Grand Marshall Edie Windsor in hat with red band.

A bloke we've seen every year at Pride.

A literally bird-brained bloke we’ve seen every year at Pride.

New York Senator Chuck Schumer.

New York Senator Chuck Schumer.

Rainbow Brite.

Rainbow Brite.

Edie Windsor fans.

Edie Windsor fans literally and figuratively.

Product placement.

Product placement.

LGBT center float.

LGBT center float.

Mr. Short Shorts.

Mr. Short Shorts front and center.

Family guys i.e., Mr. Long Shorts.

Family guys i.e., Mr. Long Shorts.

Big cheers for Governor Cuomo!

Big cheers for Governor Cuomo!

Rainbow dress.

Rainbow dress.

Lesbian moms.

Lesbian moms.

Blonde ambition.

Blonde ambition.

Kiehls float.

Kiehls float.

Kiddie pride.

Kiddie pride.

Scooter and bare breast pride.

Together at last: scooter and bare bazoom pride.

Paddles and pads shriek, "NFL!"

Paddles and pads shriek, “NFL!”

Girl pride.

Girl pride.

Butch dyke pride.

Butch dyke pride.

Brokeback Mountain...The Neo-realist version.

Brokeback Mountain …The Neo-realist version.

Shouting pride.

Shouting pride.

Why walk when you can ride the recline-o-cycle.

Why walk when you can ride the recline-o-cycle.

Wilted sombrero pride.

Clapping wilted sombrero pride.

Milton calls this "What the fuck...?"

Milton calls this “What the fuck…?”

New York City police commissioner Ray Kelly.

New York City police commissioner Ray Kelly.

Gay cop color guard.

Gay cop color guard.

Gay firefighters and EMT's.

Gay firefighters and EMT’s.

Cop ordering phone booth perches to dismount,

Cop ordering phone booth perching pals to dismount.

Yes and yes.

Yes and yes.

Attitude.

Attitude.

Of course, Scout Troop 69!

Of course, Scout Troop 69!

Prancing with friend.

Prancing with friend.

The Flaggots are back!

The Flaggots are back!

Bi Request — offering something for just about everyone.

Bi Request — offering something for just about everyone.

Milton: "Not everyone should copy Tarzan."

Milton: “Not everyone should copy Tarzan.”

Pretty boys.

Back to regularly scheduled programming: pretty boys.

Russians are coming.

Russians are coming.

Latino pride.

Latino pride.

Eye-catching.

Eye-catching.

Feathered friends.

Feathered friends.

Exuberance!

Exuberance!

Just the place to find Harem Boy and Mad Hatter.

Just the place to find Harem Boy and Mad Hatter.

"Let's put on a show!"

“Let’s put on a show!”

Actions speak louder than words.

This magic moment.

Boy marching with Rainbow Girl.

Boy marching with Rainbow Girl.

Go Magazine: stick around — meow!

Go Magazine: stick around — meow!

The Big Gay Apple is here!

The Big Gay Apple is here!

Lady bugs!

Lady bugs!

Contrast in styles.

Contrast in styles.

In lieu of feathers, rainbow tube balloons.

In lieu of feathers, rainbow tube balloons.

Marching with who else? A live snake.

Marching with what else? A live snake.

Equality marchers.

Equality marchers.

Nice hat.

Nice hat.

Nice shoes.

Nice shoes.

Strike a pose.

Strike a pose.

Shake that thing!

Shake that thing!

Well accessorized.

Well accessorized.

Perfect day to wear a bikini and feathers.

Perfect day to wear a bikini and feathers.

The Golden Girls have arrived!

The Golden Girls have arrived!

Happy in tape and feathers.

Happy in tape and feathers.

Tribute to grandma.

Tribute to grandma.

Weiner!

Weiner!

Mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner.

Mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner.

Drummer girl.

Drummer girl.

Indonesian pride.

Indonesian pride.

Happy together.

Happy together.

Rainbow flag ears? This guy's get-up irritated Milton.

Rainbow flag ears? This guy’s get-up irritated Milton.

Not housework attire: feathered mask and rainbow cape.

Not housework attire: feathered mask and rainbow cape.

Bustier.

Bustier.

Hold that pose.

Hold that pose.

Feathers.

Feathers.

Having it and flaunting it.

Having it and flaunting it.

Moving on from marriage to fracking?

Moving on from marriage to fracking?

Public Advocate and mayoral candidate Bill De Blasio.

Public Advocate and mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio.

Conversation can be very nice.

Thanks for sharing.

Madonna, watch out! Bearadonna's coming!

Madonna, watch out! Bearadonna’s here!

The Log Cabin Republicans are here — all three of them.

The Log Cabin Republicans are here — all three of them.

Hula hoop lady.

Hula hoop lady.

Mayoral candidate Christine Quinn in orange slacks with her spouse Kim Cattullo.

Mayoral candidate Christine Quinn in orange slacks with her spouse Kim Catullo.

Massive Quinn contingency or as Milton said, "It's like she's Madonna."

Massive showing of Quinn supporters or as Milton said, “It’s like she’s Madonna.”

Gotcha shot of Milton and me.

Gotcha shot of Milton and me.

Lame Adventure 371: Marriage Lame Adventures-style

When I launched Lame Adventures in January 2010, I saw my site as an outlet for sharing tales set in New York City from the perspective of a hapless minion of modest means. At first, it was fine with me if only my close circle of friends and my sister, Dovima, read my blog. I am by nature an anti-social networker. Eventually, bloggers began to discover me, and I realized that was okay, too. I now enjoy reading several fellow bloggers and I have gotten to know members of my cyberspace posse quite well. On more than one occasion I have even been fortunate enough to meet fellow bloggers when they’ve visited New York City.

The most rewarding experience I’ve had thus far with meeting a fellow blogger occurred last Thursday when I met one of my earliest followers, Kathy McCullogh over at Reinventing the Event Horizon. Instead of doing the usual, hanging out at a pub, Kathy emailed me and asked if I would serve as witness to the City Hall nuptials between she and Sara Coppler, her partner of seven years. On May 1, they would move to Cuenca, Ecuador. That was an offer I couldn’t refuse. My co-witness, Jackie over at Jackie Cangro, was on board to attend, too. I have since learned that Jackie is both an excellent sherpa and writer.

This year, Kathy and Sara’s lives have been in such a whirlwind I almost need a nap before I explain what’s been happening. They’ve sold their house in Kentucky and have been in the process of completely liquidating their life in the U.S. ever since. They chose to relocate to Ecuador for many reasons. Ecuador is on the East Coast’s time zone (except during daylight savings time), it’s a three and a half hour flight from Florida, the currency is the U.S. dollar, the price of oil is cheap ($1.48 a gallon), health care and housing are affordable, the overall cost of living is low, and the perpetual spring-like climate is a perfect compromise for both of them. Kathy hates heat and Sara hates cold. Gee, maybe Milton and I should stuff ourselves into their carry-on bags.

Before making this move, Kathy and Sara were advised that because marriage equality is on the rise in South America, it would behoove them to travel to a state in the U.S. where same sex marriage is legal. Getting married stateside before moving overseas would give their union more legitimacy in their adopted homeland. Hence, they chose New York to officially tie the knot.

As honored as I was to be included in this historic event in their lives, for a moment, a flash of terror shot through my entire being from the soles of my feet to the roots of my hair. No, this terror had nothing to do with my lifelong fear of commitment, but the thought of having to dress up twice in one week. They were marrying three days after Milton and I attended a black tie gala at Lincoln Center for Barbra Streisand! Kathy reassured me that it was going to be very casual.

For anyone considering getting married in New York’s City Hall, the ceremonies are actually held in the City Clerk’s office at 141 Worth Street in lower Manhattan. There is a 24-hour waiting period after a couple purchases a license, possibly to prevent couples from impulsively entering boneheaded unions, such as when Britney Spears got married in Las Vegas to, if I recall his name correctly, That Schmuck.

First thing first, fees.

First thing first, fees.

Kathy and Sara have been ready to make it legal for years, but like so many committed same sex couples, they were waiting for the laws to change.

Kathy and Sara in their final moments of waiting to wed.

Kathy (left) and Sara in their final moments of patiently waiting to wed.

On wedding day proper, April 25, the four of us agreed to meet at 9 a.m., but we all arrived at 8:45. Even though I am not an early riser nor am I a morning person at all, no way was I going to be The Jerk That Arrives Late for this special occasion.

New York City’s Marriage Bureau is a place where the vibe is warm and welcoming. All a couple has to do is show up and wait their turn. The bureau has flowers, a gift shop, even a backdrop with a photograph of the actual City Hall for brides and grooms to pose before. It’s run very efficiently. Check it out.

Flower selections.

Flower selections.

Cake toppers and ducks.

Cake toppers and ducks.

Reading material neither Kathy nor Sara needed during the 24-hour waiting period.

Reading material neither Kathy nor Sara needed during the 24-hour waiting period.

Camera-ready City Hall mural backdrop.

Camera-ready City Hall mural backdrop.

Kathy and Sara's ceremony number.

Kathy and Sara’s ceremony number.

Kathy and Sara filling out forms.

Kathy and Sara filling out forms.

Exchanging vows a.k.a. this is happening for real!

Exchanging vows a.k.a. this is happening for real!

Double ring ceremony.

Double ring ceremony.

Missed money shot due to delay in my camera's shutter speed.

Missed money shot due to delay in my camera’s shutter speed.

Just married! Finally!

Just married! Finally!

Backdrop looks complete now.

Backdrop looking complete now.

Kathy and Sara entered lawful wedded bliss by 9:59 a.m. When we stepped outside, we encountered a photographer named Braulio Cuenca. Apparently, he’s been a fixture outside the City Clerk’s office since 1994. If you’d like to read his story in the New York Times click this link. Coincidentally, Braulio is Ecuadorian and from — where else? Cuenca! He shot Kathy and Sara’s official wedding photo. We saw that as a good omen.

First step outside as spouse and spouse.

First step outside as a lawfully wedded couple.

Braulio showing Kathy official wedding photo.

Braulio showing Kathy official wedding photo.

Afterward, Jackie and I accompanied the brides on a few errands before heading over to Chinatown for a celebratory dim sum lunch at Ping’s on Mott Street. Our next stop was Ferrara’s in Little Italy for dessert Italian-style. Then, we parted ways. Jackie returned home to Brooklyn. I headed uptown. Kathy and Sara, caught a cab in the Big Apple detour in their journey.

Jubilant Kathy and Sara in taxi heading toward the next leg in their life together.

Jubilant Kathy and Sara in taxi heading toward the next leg in their life together.

Upon reflection, I realized that were it not for the blogosphere, I never would have met this very cool, very loving couple and made a new writer-friend in Brooklyn. This is an adventure that was far more lucky than it was lame. The Lame Adventures will return should this city slicker ever visit them in Ecuador.