I was walking down Franklin Street in Tribeca near my place of employ when I was distracted from my three favorite topics of mindless thinking – sex, food, and longing for the weekend, by an intriguing window display from an eclectic retailer I have easily blown past hundreds of times called Urban Archaeology.
This place is a New York institution that sells elegant bath accessories and high-end lighting to the 1%, but what I think is most cool about them is their collection of architectural salvage. Years ago when Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone’s vault on live TV and only found some cigarette butts and gum wrappers, it was probably because this place discreetly got there first. If there is one retailer in the entire world where you could find the original wheel, this is the place that would have it.
The cable TV network Showtime had ten designers in ten cities design specifically themed displays in exclusive store windows to celebrate the second season series premiere of The Borgias on Easter Sunday, April 8. New York’s theme is Decadence and it’s won my vote for best in show. This window’s designer, Todd Moore, did a spot-on job conveying extreme excess in a sensual blood-red and gleaming gold setting.
The gold doubloon sprinkled on the marble floor was another nice detail.
Thoughtfully considering the Catholic elements of the series, that luxurious bedpost is actually a wrought iron gate once used at St. Patrick’s Cathedral. An Urban Archaeology exclusive, it can be yours for a $195,000 blessing.
Of course, my friends had their nits to pick. After awarding the display his seal of holy approval, Milton slammed his critic’s gavel on the series and pronounced it:
Milton: Not that good.
It’s equally possible that Milton could have declared it:
Milton (take 2): Not that bad.
I suggest this because he’s very aware that I can no longer afford premium cable stations on my featherweight wages, so I’m inclined to give the series sight unseen the benefit of the doubt. Coincidentally, I also kneel at the altar of the actor, Jeremy Irons.
My former colleague, The Quiet Man, who is now a Massachusetts-based escape artist, has never tuned into the series but he also granted the window display an upturned thumb. He suggested one improvement:
The Quiet Man: Replace the mannequin with a real woman.
As for me, I’m thinking that bishop’s mitres might be making a comeback now, so I better get mine out of the dry cleaner’s fast.
If you’d like to see the other windows and possibly follow the Lame Adventures lead and vote for Decadence click here.
Voters are also automatically entered into a sweepstakes to live like a Borgia for five nights (guess you’ll want to sleep all day) in Venice, Italy.