Tag Archives: dead pigeon

Lame Adventure 380: The Freeloader with the Dead Pigeon

I am out of my comfort zone: soot-infested, fast-paced, people-packed, pissed off Manhattan island. My special brand of sour and  I are in sunny California where people are polite and like to smile. Okay, I will admit I did learn a few manners when I grew up out here, but I always was at my core, even as an essentially mopey moppet, a New Yorker.

I am visiting my family and friends in the San Francisco Bay Area. As usual, I am staying with my sister, Dovima, and brother-in-law, Herb (with a silent h). Father’s Day is Sunday so I will soon see my Dear Old Dad. His gift this year from me is a copy of my recently published book. Dovima told me that he likes the cover a lot. But what might my 86-year-old pappy with a heart condition think of the contents? Part of me is inclined to censor all the profanity and any hints that I’m still an actively horndog lesbian even while deep in middle age when I should have a kernel of dignity. Then, there are the silly stories such as my lusting after a deformed muffin. But if I ripped and blacked out all these passages, that would limit my tome to  little more than the cover photo and the title page. Dad might notice that something not very ha ha funny was up with it and that could offend him even more. So, I’m living on the edge, he’s getting the real deal book and hopefully his ticker can take it.

Meanwhile, I had planned to publish an entirely different post with a story to it, but unfortunately, only four of the images on my camera will download onto my sister’s PC. And these are four images that I shot in New York that have nothing to do with the story about The Dog on the Plane. A story that will be told later. Now I have four images sitting in my sister’s picture file that look like this.

Bubble wrap and packing pellets in the hallway at The Grind.

Bubble wrap and packing pellets in the hallway at The Grind.

I don’t know why I shot the bubble wrap and the packing pellets in the hall at work. Maybe I was thinking that they make a nice couple. The problem picture that might detonate Dovima is the one below. Actually, I have three of these shots that downloaded onto her PG-rated PC. This one is the most family friendly.

Flattened feathered friend.

Flattened feathered friend.

Now, I have to figure out how the hell to delete this file from Dovima’s kind and gentle computer, a computer that is primarily loaded with folders full of pictures of my niece, Sweet Pea, the dog, Thurber, and  lovely getaways she’s taken with Herb (with the silent h). I’m a dedicated Mac user. PC’s and I are not simpatico.  I hope I don’t somehow hit all the wrong buttons and this pigeon in rigor mortis on West End Avenue in New York City  becomes my sister’s new wallpaper replacing the lovely shot of my niece nuzzling Thurber.  But, were this to happen, it would surely make for a funny story. (ahem)  In a few years from now.

Advertisements