Lame Adventure 456: Milton’s Academy Award Predictions

As Lame Adventures’ dedicated following knows, all of you in the ones of tens, my dear friend, Milton, is the consummate cinemaniac. I don’t know anyone else who spends as many hours as he sitting in the dark, watching movies while chowing popcorn and quaffing gallons of diet Coke. Because Milton saw 168 films in 2014, including every picture in every category that received an Oscar nomination, I know that he is highly qualified to predict how tonight will unfold. Therefore, I asked him to compile a list for Lame Adventures of the films that he thinks will win the Academy Award as well as a second list of the films that he thinks deserve to take home the shiny naked gold guy. The middle column is comprised of the films/actors that Milton would reward. The column on the right is how he thinks the Academy will vote.

Predictions based on 14 days of solid filmgoing in 2014.

Predictions based on 14 days (336 hours) of film-going fueled by 3.5 days (84 hours) of refreshment imbibing in calendar year 2014.

For all of you rooting for Eddie Redmayne who stars in The Theory of Everything, Milton has a message:

Milton: Redmayne’s schmaltzy turn as Stephen Hawking will be hard for the Academy to resist. But Keaton deserves this one!

I enthusiastically agree.

Milton has an impressive track record of determining how the Academy voters will cast their ballot. For fans of Boyhood, he thinks you will be disappointed. For fans of Birdman (Milton, My Boss and me), he thinks we’ll be pleased.

One last bit of Milton Academy Award-time madness that is now tradition: at his workplace he treats his colleagues to a chocolate layer cake inscribed with a message to an actor or actress he’s cheering.

Go Birdman!

Go Birdman!

Milton is a one very popular guy.

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58 responses to “Lame Adventure 456: Milton’s Academy Award Predictions

  1. I haven’t seen any of the movies, so I will go by his predictions. I love that cake! He should tweet a photo of it directly to Keaton.

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  2. totally agree – go Birdman! too funny, loved the cake pic!

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  3. I have placed no bets on anything. We are going to see Still Alice Wednesday.

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  4. Still haven’t gotten to see Birdman but it’s on my list. Guess I’ll have to wait for the DVD. Will you be watching the awards with Milton tonight, V.? We’re having friends over. Should be a fun evening – at least the food will be great – Nova Salmon with dill sour cream, Baltimore Crab Cakes with a caper tartar sauce, oven roasted rosemary potatoes, wedge salad and Mexican Wedding Cookies – all homemade (except for the Nova Salmon, of course).

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    • If you can, Cathy, I urge you and Peter to see Birdman in a movie theater, if only for the outstanding cinematography (but Michael Keaton and the stellar cast all rock). Do you need me to remind you that you’re a photographer?!? My niece makes sandies (what we call Mexican Wedding Cookies) as good as my grandmother did. We got lucky that the baking gene is in Sweet Pea’s DNA. Hey, consider photographing your spread and tagging it Food Porn. Milton and I stay in our respective sanctum sanctorums. This is a sacred occasion night.

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      • I’ve considered doing some Food Porn, V. The problem with food photography is, we’d rather eat the art form rather than photograph it. By the time I could stage it and get the lighting right, the food would be cold. But trust me, it was really good.

        Also, Milton’s record remains untarnished. Amazing predictions! I thought Neal Patrick Harris did a nice job as host. Funny without being abrasive.

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        • That is very true, Cathy! I recently photographed a bowl of oatmeal (okay, not a very sexy dish) and I was concerned that it would cool before I could dig in. I trust you that your spread was really good.

          I enjoyed NPH, too. He’s a very good master of ceremonies.

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  5. I have not seen either “Birdman” or” The Theory of Everything,” but it is time to honor Keaton. Redmayne is young, with a promising future. Keaton has past performances that have not been recognized.

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    • Well said English Professor! But, Michael Keaton just gave a terrific performance. It is a career highlight and if the Academy takes off the blinders and gives him the gold, he earned it big-time.

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  6. 168 films? For real? I don’t think I’ve seen that many in my ancient lifetime. Milton is a good coworker. Yum.

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  7. Obviously I’m missing something! Not seen Birdman but I will eventually. I do like Keaton though and always love a comeback.

    That cake looks delicious and I bet Milton is popular. I hope you get a slice, V.

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    • I didn’t get a slice, Brig. Milton’s colleagues inhaled it faster than the speed of light, but hopefully it dawned on someone on the staff that seeing Birdman is a good idea. It’s a very fine film.

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  8. I’m surprised at how delighted I am with Milton’s tradition. The thing is, I don’t even like the Oscars (I’ve seen exactly one movie on the above list, Big Hero 6), and cannot be made to care.

    Or so I thought. HOWEVER, if I knew I had a coworker who was nutty about the Oscars AND celebrated by bringing a treat into the office, I think a little bit of that person’s enthusiasm would rub off. As it is, I kind of want Michael Keaton to win, and I didn’t give a rat’s ass five minutes ago.

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    • The second I saw Birdman at the closing of the New York Film Festival, Smak, I asked Milton, “Do you think Michael Keaton can with the Oscar?” We both loved him. Milton was certain that MK would get nominated, but the Academy voters are always such saps for disease/illness/anything that makes pretty actors-actresses look like hell performances. Birdman is a massively intelligent, inspired and super cool fiction film that is like literature crossbred with a comic book. It’s also very New York and it’s a hilarious take on Broadway theater. I think you’d really dig this one. If you can see it in a movie theater go for it. Visually, it’s gorgeous.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Wow, well you definitely sell it. I think I will see it, but probably on the small(ish–TVs getting bigger!) screen. We do have an indie theater in SLO, so I’ll keep my eyes peeled. I saw that it won best picture.

        I saw also that Julianne Moore won an Oscar. I wonder if that will cause me to stop thinking of her as the “Made-For-TV Jodie Foster.”

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        • It looks like Birdman is playing at the Downtown Centre Cinema by you, Smak. Maybe they’ll add screenings or extend the run now that it’s won a boatload of big awards, including Best Picture. They’re also playing Julianne Moore’s movie, Still Alice. I haven’t seen it yet. Milton always makes a face like he just ate porcupine sushi when I mention that film to him. He does like her. He just did not think much of that film. The “Made-For-TV Jodie Foster”?!?! Ha! I think Julianne Moore is an excellent actress. Milton thought she deserved the Oscar for a film we saw her in at the New York Film Festival, Maps to the Stars. It’s finally getting released this month. It was a mess, but she was sensational.

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  9. Let them eat cake! 🙂

    I read your comment that you tweeted MK that photo of the cake. I hope he tweets back.

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  10. But most importantly, how does Milton think Neil Patrick Harris,will do as host?…

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  11. As I read your post, I’m watching the show! Here’s to all the nominees!
    PS: Can I have a piece of that cake?

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  12. Great Cake! I actually loved Boyhood, and thought it was an incredible undertaking and an amazing project. Fascinating and moving, glad you put it in there!!

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    • I’ve yet to see Boyhood, but I’ve heard predominantly good word-of-mouth about it. Milton liked it, but he didn’t think it rated Best Picture like Birdman. Thanks for visiting and for commenting!

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  13. 168 films? That’s a lot of movies – thus money and time. And all nominees in all categories? … then again, cheers to his passion. Unfortunately, I didn’t see this until after the show, so I didn’t get to keep the scorecard. How did he do?

    Of course, I’m hoping he establishes the Milties, with his own categories.

    We haven’t seen Birdman, so I guess that means to get out there!

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  14. Agreed — go Keating! He didn’t win, right? — I love him. I also loved loved loved loved Lady Gaga last night — and Julie Andrews coming out at the end was the icing on the cake (in the vein of celebratory or cheerleading cakes). I didn’t see any of these movies — I want to see The Grand Budapest Hotel.

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    • Sandee, I think you’ll enjoy both Grand Budapest Hotel and Birdman. They’re both very well made, very original and very imaginative films. I am right there with you about Lady Gaga. What a performance! I can see her starring in a Broadway musical. What pipes! I loved it when Julie Andrews joined her onstage. Seeing her was so touching. She sure looks great for a woman about to turn 80.

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  15. Greta and her friends had a big Oscar watch-party last night while Grandma & Grandpa watched Maudie. This meant we sat through a Lilo and Stitch movie instead of the Oscars. But I did win Best Supporting Actor for my role as “Papaw” in “Entertaining a 3 yr. old.”

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  16. Go Milton! I don’t know anything about any of those movies, but I can relate to chocolate cake.

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  17. I don’t know how I missed this. I keep missing your posts in my email. Well, I get the satisfaction of knowing the results seeing this after the Oscars. Like Milton, I was rooting for Keaton even though I had not seen Birdman. I like Keaton and I don’t think he’s won before. Has he? It looks as though Milton got many right!! He knows his stuff.

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    • Milton’s a good judge of film from about the 1930s-on, Amy. He puts a lot of time and thought into putting together his Oscar ballot. Another of my close friends, Martini Max, is an expert on silent film and, this makes me cringe, Abbott & Costello. I loathe A&C. Between Milton and Max, I have access to two authorities with vast knowledge about the art, and in Max’s case, the stupidity, of cinema.

      Do you let you email pile up at times like me? You let it slide for a day or two and then posts you’d get to without delay, you get to with delay. Also, the fact that I published on a weekend is not usual for me. I prefer to post early in the week, but that was a post I wanted to get out before the ceremony.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Let’s not even talk about my email. Let’s don’t start. It’s very scary, and it appears your posts are not the only ones I’ve been missing. I must fix this! I really want to see Birdman. That’s the one thing I walked away with. And Boyhood. Those two are at the top of my list.

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  18. Milton is a cinematic genius! His predictions trip my out. And you know I finally saw Birdman and the writing is amazing, great characters and definitely great acting. They won three big awards wishing, but I was wishing for Boyhood to take one too, it was such a great film and concept. But I guess all in all it was a good night for indie films. And that cake! Dude! Milton is awesome!

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    • Boyhood did score one significant win, Guat, for Patricia Arquette who played the mother. As a mom, feel free to share in her pride. Yes, I agree, it was a very good night for indie films. I’m so glad you saw Birdman. Milton and I loved it! No one else I know knows films quite like him. He should be sitting across from Robert Osborne gassing about Joan Crawford. If only …

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