Lame Adventure 428: Angry Bird in the Hood

New York is a city that is well known for skyscrapers, glass, steel, concrete and asphalt, but it is also a place with significant urban wildlife. And I’m not dwelling on a dream I recently had where I lifted the lid off a garbage can in front of my apartment building and a skunk leaped out directly at me. Why my subconscious was thinking about a big, furry, livid skunk springing from a normally peaceful trash receptacle to scare the kale out of me, I can’t say. But the odor of skunk is familiar in my neighborhood, the Upper West Side. When I snapped this shot of the San Remo building while doing my laundry last week, what is not evident in the image is that there was the acrid scent of skunk permeating the warm summer air. Luckily for me, the skunk responsible for the stink chose to remain invisible. It even resisted the urge to take a flying leap in front of my lens.

Clouds or skunk vapors behind the San Remo's towers?

Clouds or skunk vapor behind the San Remo’s towers?

However, the topic of airborne urban wildlife has been weighing heavy on my mind. When I enter my Tribeca-based office in the morning at The Grind, and see a pigeon perched on the sill outside my window, I welcome that feathered sight. A bird on the sill is comforting. Its tranquil presence gives me the impression that it could be a good day.

A pigeon of peaceful presence.

A pigeon of peaceful presence.

That was until bird Angry Bird started coming around and began monopolizing the sill.

Angry Bird looking to pick a fight.

Angry Bird looking to pick a fight.

If a pigeon can be bi-polar, this is that pigeon. Of all the sills in New York City, why has this lunatic bird chosen to perch on mine?

"I like it here!"

“I like it here!”

Angry Bird is a pigeon with some serious anger management issues that lives to ruffle feathers. Angry Bird hates sharing the sill and has a mean hook with its flapping right wing.

"Get off my sill!"

Feathers flying.

If you need further proof, witness Angry Bird in action.

For the past two months Angry Bird’s bullying has diverted all the pigeons that used to sit on the sill outside my window to perch on the railing across the way.

Not troubling trouble.

Not troubling trouble.

This proves to me that bird brains are highly under rated. Pigeons may not be eager to perform stupid pet tricks, but it’s evident that the ones in Tribeca have all gotten the memo to stay away from my sill. It’s obvious that no one wants to get bitch slapped with that wild right wing.

"We like to eat a lot but we're not gluttons for punishment."

“We’re not gluttons for punishment.” (Note: shot taken before Angry Bird moved into the hood.)

My friend, Coco, thinks that Angry Bird, with its orange beak and black and white markings, might be part seagull. I think she might be onto something, but I am not going to feed that avian terrorist a piece of fish to find out. Then, it will likely never leave my sill and I’ll find myself forever grousing about this feathered foe.

"I'm feeling right at home."

“Message to everyone: stay the hell away.”

Advertisements

60 responses to “Lame Adventure 428: Angry Bird in the Hood

  1. Doin’ the Funky Pigeon. Do I note a subtle political undertone?

    R.

    Like

    • When I wrote “right wing” I sensed that was not going to go lost by someone in my “flock” of followers, but as you could see from the video, Angry Bird really knows how to clobber opponents with that wing! I’ve added funky pigeon to this post’s tags. I loved that one, R! Thanks!

      Like

  2. Excellent post and the soundtracked video was perfect. I smell a freshly pressed nomination.

    Like

  3. Pepe le pew in the big city and haunting your dreams? Stinky! That avian terrorist sure has a mean right jab…cocky sob too. I think Coco might be right on her mutation theory.

    Like

    • Angry Bird definitely has some other species in its lineage, but earlier today, I noticed he flew over to the other side where everyone else is now perched. I anticipated that he was going to pull his Putin punches over there, but instead, he seemed to make nice. Clearly, he was on the make.

      Like

  4. The video is awesome, V! Complete with soundtrack. Angry Bird would seem to be the territorial type and it does look like it’s part seagull which would explain its crankiness. I’ll be curious to see how long it stays…

    Like

    • Glad you liked the video, Cathy! Isn’t seeing believing what a crackpot we’ve got out on the sill? When I arrived this morning, Angry Bird was perched outside my window looking the usual: tense and nervous and [he] can’t relax. Then,he flew to the other side where I thought he was going to bring his brand of bullying, but instead he made nice. I think he’s looking for love or at least some vessels to carry on his gene pool. Joy.

      Like

      • Looking for love in all the wrong places? Maybe he’s just frustrated! I love the gene pool idea. Perhaps in the next 10 years, NYC will be populated with mostly pigeons with orange bills! And we’ll know who parented them. Just hoping the “cranky” gene won’t get perpetuated.

        Like

        • Gee, I have the same looking for love in all the wrong places problem as Angry Bird, Cathy — as tempting as it would be to write about my fiasco dates of 2014, I am taking the high road about that. And, I’m certainly not being nasty to my peers! But, it would be interesting to see if orange billed birdy misanthropes take over Manhattan in the years ahead.

          Like

  5. Wow! The bird even does that neck thing so many people do on The Jerry Springer Show.

    Like

  6. When I was a mere child, my older brother captured a baby skunk and had it de-scented. It lived with us for several months, outdoors with the dog and 20-30 cats. They hated it. It was usually aggressive. Though, I never saw it leap from anything into their faces with claws and teeth bared. It would do a stiff legged hop toward the cats and dog to bluff it into running away.

    Like

    • Great skunk tale, Jim. Thanks for sharing, but whoa, you guys had “20-30 cats”?!? When the skunk was descented, maybe someone should have had some kitties fixed or at least put on the pill? When I was a kid, I had a skunk hand puppet. The tail ran down the length of my arm. I called it Sidney. That was my favorite skunk.

      Like

  7. Was that the soundtrack from Pigeon Porn? Perhaps he got into someone’s meth supply or inhaled too much hairspray aerosol. Dreaming of skunks, huh? You poor child. It must have something to do with those Broadway shows you’ve been attending.

    Like

    • The music was just a few YouTube audio clicks, probably from their pigeon porn collection, even though “Beat It” was more what Angry Bird was saying to his nemesis. I’m thinking that I have inhaled so much rank skunk aroma on the Upper West Side, Russell, it’s infected my subconscious.

      Like

  8. I bet Angry Bird is on the prowl for a Mrs. Angry Bird.

    Like

  9. Perhaps Angry Bird is your protector, V. Perhaps she/he is carrying some sort of zen message that only you are supposed to know. Learn from Angry Bird.

    Seriously, I wouldn’t feed it though. Happy Monday.

    Like

    • The message I get from Angry Bird, Brig, is much more douche than zen. I think it’s a male. I saw him cruising the pigeons perched across the way today. He wasn’t picking any fights. I think he’s on a mission to create the Angry Bird master race. There goes the neighborhood.

      Like

  10. It’s funny that I came across this post … my son is wearing an Angry Bird shirt. Ha! And I love that funky music you posted reminded of some 70s movie soundtrack. Bipolar Pigeons…that one cracked me up. He’s so hostile … or maybe it’s a she … and she had a really bad first date and doesn’t want any more pigeons burning her out.

    Like

    • That’s great that the Little Guat was wearing his Angry Bird tee shirt, today, Guat! I think Angry Bird is just an aggressive, megalomaniac, territorial male. A better name for him might be Putin.

      Like

  11. Just today I returned from my son’s house in Pasadena, California and there was a coyote wandering in the neighborhood. Animals live on. We insist when insisting doesn’t benefit. Birds are underrated. So are two year olds and eighty year olds. Is it angry birds or birds without a home, a soft twig for their claws, a drink at the end of the day, a fellowship place to meet. Oh I’ve been staring at Freeway 10 for 500 miles in one day and need to rest. Not enough birds on the way to lead the way.

    Like

    • Now, I have coyotes on the brain, Rebecca. I hope one doesn’t spring out at me when I open a door in a dream tonight. Or, if one does, it looks like Wile E.

      Like

      • If your dream did look like Wile E (I always thought it was Wiley but I’ve never looked it up, just imagined it was the personality) it would look like real coyotes. They have that look and they usually have a smile on their faces. My daughter-in-law said they live on the Huntington Museum grounds not far from their house and they don’t (usually) bother with people.

        Like

  12. I love the soundtrack in your video. Perhaps you could borrow a cat to get rid of angry bird?

    Like

    • The problem with borrowing a cat, Terri, is that I’m deathly allergic to the kitties (please don’t mention that to Kush!). When I got to The Grind today, I asked my colleague, Godsend, if she had seen Angry Bird. She said she had not. I settled in and then, guess who shows up on the sill — and looking right at me with a cocked head, as of he’s saying, “See? I can make nice”? I am growing fond of that little monster.

      Like

  13. I’m with Coco because I quickly noticed the beak and wondered. Meanwhile, AB is quite the territorial fellow …. and at least he’s not a skunk.

    Like

  14. Perhaps he’s angry because all the other birds make fun of him for being different.

    Like

    • That’s an interesting way of looking at it, Lois. This morning, Angry Bird was perched on the sill outside my window. I noticed that there were two other pigeons perched on the sill on my other window. AB was craning his neck, looking ready to pick a fight. One of the two pigeons was sound asleep. The other was very alert and craning its neck in the direction of AB. But it was just a standoff with a lot of beady eye contact. The neck craning bird got the hint and flew away. Its pal continued to snore. Then, AB nestled in the corner of the sill and took his own siesta. He seemed content to have the sill all to himself. I don’t think he’s mocked. I think he’s feared and maybe just a little respected. Clearly, I’ve put a lot of thought into this winged menace. He’s almost like my pet.

      Like

  15. Luckily, we don’t have skunks over here, LA, but, unfortunately, that means that’s an aroma I have never experienced. From all accounts it’s one to be missed, so I may just do that.
    We do have a lot of angry birds over here, however. Although once, a charming raven made friends with me in a car park.

    Like

    • A skunk-free place Tom, sounds like a place that smells pretty good. I never smelled their distinct aroma until the last ten years or so. Their presence seems to have become more apparent in this millennium. Consider their absence from your part of the world a gift. As for your encounter with that charming raven,that sounds delightful! When I visit my sister in Marin County (Northern California), I frequently encounter crows. The last time I visited they were cawing incessantly at the break of day. I love birds, but I did not find that charming at all.

      Like

  16. That might be one of the GoodFeathers from Animaniacs. Google it. 🙂

    Like

  17. Will your right hook be a match for Angry Bird’s “right wing?” Verbally, you have him beat.

    Like

    • Hey, Tania, good to hear from you, pal! Awwwww, that’s sweet! I hope you’re having a summer that’s Angry Bird-free, even though he frequents the sill so much when I’m around, I’m getting a bit attached to that crazy critter. It helps that he’s been behaving this week.

      Like

      • Summer is about to start. Holidays commence next week — although I think my brain has been ready to depart for the last few weeks already.
        Whether Angry-Bird is friend or not, keep him close!

        Like

  18. I love the music selection for the bird slapping! Animals have their own way of solving problems, I guess. I get lots of mice and birds dragged into my house by the three kitties who live with me. They think they’re doing me favors! I guess one good thing about the angry bird is that you don’t have to deal with all the other birds. He’s king of your sill, or queen.

    Like

    • Could your three kitties be giving you offerings as a show of thanks, Amy? They’rebringing you gifts; they best they can do since their cats so they don’t have a Mastercard. I’ll say this about Angry Bird: this is one creature that’s never dull. Pretty much a bird-version of everyone I’ve dated in my entire life.

      Like

  19. Looks like a hybrid to me, which probably means he speaks half pigeon/half whatever the hell, and has alienated all the others for his weirdness. Donald Trump’s spirit animal.

    Like

    • “… he speaks half pigeon/half whatever the hell …” Very well put, Jen. Great hearing from you! I hope you and your three guys are having a swell summer with fully functioning tents, if you’ve gone anywhere requiring tent-age.

      Like

      • We are a cabin only family after last summer’s “adventures”. It was either that or divorce. I have missed you, V! Work has been so flipping busy, but I have taken a bit of a step back which will hopefully allow some writin’ and readin’ time. Glad to see you are enjoying the sights and smells of summer as well.

        Like

        • Yes, summer is indeed the season of many pronounced odors on the scale from rank to wonderful here in the Big Apple. Life has been so flipping busy over here, too. I have missed you as well, pal! Glad that you, Kris and the twin giraffes have found cabin happiness.

          Like

  20. I think Angry Bird needs massive amounts of therapy and a new hood. I like seeing your photos of all the nice birds. I had a rat jump out of a trashcan the other morning when I was in the park. I was wide awake after that and laughing at myself for screaming and running the other way.

    Like

    • If a rat jumped out of a trash can at me, I would definitely scream and run, if I didn’t faint first. Recently, I came across one squished in the cobblestones in front of my building. That rated a four star shudder. I had no problem not taking that picture. As for Angry Bird moving to a new hood, he seems very content with calling (cooing?) Tribeca his nesting ground.

      Like

  21. Ok, now this Angry Bird is much more interesting and engaging than the Angry Birds game the kids are so into these days! Great post, sweetie!

    Like

  22. I was wondering, are you perhaps feeding the funky right wing bird? You know they do like to preserve their free lunch if they can.

    Like

  23. Hello. I’m back. I would like to tell you some spellbinding story about my exotic travels around the world or into space, but such is not the case. Nor did I embark on the cruise the 80-year-old man invited me on just after he told me he didn’t like sex. (My woman friend told me I should have said “Yes, maybe I’ll meet someone.”) Alas, I have been out tracking down someone who can pronounce Scheherazade. Actually, I have been inundated by waves of seemingly meaningless activities, power outages with consequent computer problems and so on.

    I have finally caught up on all your posts that I missed — a breath of fresh air, even coming from NYC, and like reading a book by an intelligent author — and I’m glad you made it through our harsh winter, got over that awful cold and enjoyed Thurber and your family and BatPat in Calif. Also, congrats on the weight loss. That’s dedication.

    Related to your sporadic theme of birds and squirrels: I, too, mostly prefer watching squirrels to watching TV. Squirrels tend towards the melodramatic, I have noticed, often wailing for seemingly no reason. But then there’s the one who does something — I don’t know what — to peeve the mockingbird, the squirrel apparently having retorted, “Kiss my ass,” for the mockingbird flies behind the squirrel as it dashes across the street, pecking the squirrel’s butt.

    Anyway, as the mockingbird said to the squirrel, “I’ve caught up.” (Yes, I dared to actually write this.) Thanks for continuing to write Lame Adventures, V. Now, I must attempt to catch up writing my own blog posts.

    Like

  24. Ha! His attitude has paid off. In a quiet way, he is now both famous and notorious in the blogosphere. Soon he’ll be fighting off the paparazzi and scratching autographs with his little pigeon claws.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s