Flaunting my small spender status, I recently went to my go-to Upper West Side market, Fairway, and purchased this single 69¢ dinner roll, called Three Seed.
The trio of seeds is poppy, sesame, and for the third one, I’ll take an educated guess and call it bird. Possibly one of my seven loyal readers, and I am certain that all of you minored in Seedology in college, will be compelled to enlighten me with the correct identification of this particular seed should my guess be in error. The clerk looked at the roll, then looked at me, and asked me:
Clerk: Is this a bagel?
Guess what I said:
- After I shellac it, it’s going to be a conversation piece about various ways I waste my time to avoid doing anything of worth with my life.
- Good question. I was wondering the same thing. I was sure you’d know. Guess I need to find myself a new roll Sherpa.
- No. Bagels have holes [inaudible muttering] like the one that’s expanding in my head right now. Who the hell works in a grocery store in New York and doesn’t know a bagel?