Lame Adventure 286: Foiled!

In recent weeks I have been stalking a particular townhouse in my Upper West Side neighborhood.  As February inched closer to March, I became more and more obsessed with this dwelling.  Why?  Take a look.

Christmas in January and February townhouse.

Inside my head I had written and rewritten this post several times.  I considered calling it March Madness because who in their right mind continues to hang a holiday wreath into the month that kicks off spring?  Actually about fifteen years ago I happened to have had a next-door neighbor, a rather pleasant woman named Tiffany, Kay or Zales … Okay, I completely forget her name, but I clearly recall that it sounded like jewelry and she was a nice person.  Tiffany, Kay or Zales  kept one hanging outside her door until June. She did not strike me as demented in the least, just someone suffering an acute case of holiday wreath blindness.  Perversely, every time my visitors and I looked at that heavily shedding eyesore we saw it in 3D. To this day, I’m still finding pine needles inside my humble abode.  Back to the present, could this townhouse dweller have been  blind to his wreath as my former neighbor was to her contribution to blight?

Then, the unforeseeable happened this March 1st morning.

March 1st. Hey, where did it go?

Upon closer inspection, still missing.

First, I wondered:

Me: Did it fall off?

Then, I thought:

Me:  If it fell off, could I get arrested if I happened to re-hang it for my blog?

I resisted that temptation, followed the sane, responsible course and walked on.  Coincidentally I could not locate that wreath.  Frustrating.

18 responses to “Lame Adventure 286: Foiled!

  1. I wish I lived in that townhouse. Is whoever lives there single?


  2. Thee is a house in my town I saw the other night with its multicolored xmas lights a blaring and on the small plot of grass in the front an fake white tree festooned with more multi color lights – my new fave house in Ft. Lee!!! Keep them lights on till 4th of July!


  3. Good God, V, this one made me laugh out loud–hard. Love the notion of “wreath-blindness.” Does our dirty house suggest that both Sara and I suffer from dust-blindness?


  4. She saw u stalking!


  5. Snoring Dog Studio

    I still have some fake evergreen boughs on my front porch. I can’t bring myself to touch them for some reason. When I tear my porch off this summer, that’s when they’ll go!


  6. Hmm, maybe I should remove my christmas lights now, what if someone is writing and rewriting a blog post about it in their head? Haha

    Funny post 🙂



    • If you do, make sure you figure out an awkward angle when removing your Xmas lights in March — or better yet, hold off and tackle this beast on the first day of summer! Good to hear from you, Edwin.


  7. Okay how lame am i that I had to re-read the portion regarding your neighbor’s receding wreath 3 times before I figured out she didn’t live in apartment 3D, but you all saw it in 3 Dimensions?


  8. OK so if you were to see the window of my house, you would see the tip of a 3 foot Christmas tree that still is perched upon the IKEA end table in my livingroom.


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