Many of my Lame Adventures have been pre-planned such as events I pay to attend with a member of my posse or events I determine I must check out on my own. Other LA’s are spontaneous such as interesting sightings I discover on the street, mundane sightings I find interesting, and my favorite, serendipitous sightings. Occasionally, I get elaborate — last August 24’s Stranger’s Day stunt and humiliating follow-up (Lame Adventures 221 and 222). Recently a new first occurred, a Lame Adventure that just happened with almost a zero degree of effort from me. It truly required minimal exertion. I was in my sanctum sanctorum parked like a lump at my computer considering if I wanted to read about Demi Moore’s breakup with Ashton Kutcher until I remembered:
Me: I don’t give a rat’s ass about Demi Moore or Ashton Kutcher.
Instead, I proceeded to log onto Craigslist, click the Writing Gigs link, do a short scroll, and there it was — ding, ding, ding — the basis for this post. Click the image below and check it out.
Real or fake? You tell me.
My first thought:
Me (thinking): Huh? What’s an APT? Whatever happened to the lost art of simply spelling out what it is you mean?
My second thought:
Me (getting it): What’s this got to do with writing?
A moment later it occurred to me that I should probably feel outrage:
Me (pondering): Hm. [Insert a five-count pause to muster outrage.] What a pervert, douchebag, scumball, creep attempting to live out his chauvinistic fantasy to degrade women — and with the gaul to do so in the Writing Gigs forum!
Next, I wondered:
Me (wondering): Manhattan apartments aren’t cheap. Is this offer open to women over forty that have only gone partially to seed?
Finally, while puffing hard on my Sherlock Holmes pipe, and following a prolonged coughing fit, I had a daylight moment:
Me (with light bulb shining above head): This is probably a prank!
Does anyone out there in Lame Adventureland have an opinion? That post has been removed from CL. Clearly, they had quite an opinion.
Lame Adventures 
This Craigslist post is one of millions falling into the category of “WTF?” Yes, having survived numerous subscriptions with online dating services, free and otherwise, I’ve seen this type of gentleman multiple times. It’s the “offer within an offer” enticement, as though this could entice any sane woman to take him up on it. Here’s one that I found particularly disgusting – from an online dating site:
“hi im 6 ft tall brown hair blue eyes 215 lbs im a non smoker very clean cut im very outgoing and very affectionatte polite im 59 but in good shape love to walk 4 miles every day i am allegic to dogs and cats so am looking for someone without them i was working at a title company but was laided off so currently looking im not broke im looking for a nice woman between 40 to 60 that might have a room to rent apx 300 a mth that would like to have a great guy in their life whos clean and very romatic i can move anywhere at this point in my life ive had a dairy farm and been in the rv business im looking for a long term realionship im very real im not looking for miis perfect but would like someone height weight prop plese dont reply unles your really int in a realionship i love to kiss hold hands cuddle on the couch and watch a movie dont need alot of outside ent so please read my posting and respond i dont care about your past just your future”
Quite a catch, isn’t he? I could excuse the spelling but the disgusting nature of his proposal – no. Nah, I can’t excuse the lousy spelling, either.
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Thanks for sharing, SDS! This man with a plan does seem to know what he wants. Time for me to gag.
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I think the posting is totally real. And I’m with Snoring Dog Studio–mispellings or grammar mistakes truly turn me off! But, gosh, you’re right–talk about a LA falling right into your lap–so to speak–well, not yours. You know what I mean.
Kathy
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I am a hardcore fan of literary hygiene, too, Kathy. An occasional typo I can forgive, but when something looks like it was written by Toothless Jack or Jack-ette I bolt so fast I leave skid marks.
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