As someone that suffers stage 4-level lactose intolerance, if I would dare nibble on a sumptuous ripe Brie the after effects on my intestines would be as if I had swallowed a stick of lit dynamite whole. I have a very sensitive stomach. Fortunately, thanks to sheep and goats, I am not entirely cheese-deprived.
Get your goat logs, goat medallions, goat Olympic medals here.
Unlike cow’s milk cheese, goat cheese is gamier, but I like gamey to an extent; I’m not going to chow down a pickled farm animal’s hoof anytime soon. That’s an odd vinegar soaked delicacy my Italian granny was drawn to that made everyone else at the table recoil. On the other hand, a cheese with distinct character pleases my palate very much. Lucky for me my posse accommodates my many dietary quirks and limitations. They’re all pretty much goat cheese eaters now.
Goat cheese with French names.
When my Current Companion has absolutely nothing better to do and visits me, I have been known to get us a variety of both goat and sheep’s milk cheeses. I have been eating goat cheese for decades, but only recently have I started paying closer attention to the sheep’s milk variety. There is one sheep’s milk cheese I get that she likes very much, but much to our mutual dismay, I suffered a touch of A.D.D. and forgot to note its name.
Current Companion: How could you forget the name of that cheese? It was sooooooo good!
This prompted my usual logical train of thought:
Me (thinking): Is this a deal-breaker? Am I gonna get ditched over failing to remember the name of a cheese?
Me (saying): I think it’s kinda coming back to me. Relax, I can wing this.
We visited the cheese department in the Upper West Side’s Fairway. I asked the cheese monger with authority:
Me: Do you have a sheep’s milk cheese called something like Idiot Zabel?
A short while later, we settled for Naked Goat and Drunken Goat.
Drunk goat sleeping it off, “Hic!”
They happen to be two of our favorites and Current Companion wryly and dryly observed:
Current Companion: Those are names you’ll never forget.
Drunken Goat from Fairway.
I did happen to see a wheel of Idiot Zabel afterward, so we got a wedge of that, too. Once again though I did not write down its exact name, but it really does taste great. Overall, Fairway has a good selection of goat cheeses.
Cute little goat pillows.
My favorite is Drunken Goat.
Drunken Goat unwrapped with signature violet rind.
It’s from the Murcia region of Spain a mild white cheese with a slightly fruity flavor that’s been soaked in red wine for a few days giving its edible rind a deep violet hue. It pairs well with olives, salty dry meat, and snarky women. It’s also miraculous on the digestive tract.
“I’m sober as a judge.”
Note about the guest goat puppet, his original name is Furryosity Goat (since renamed Bill E.). Even though Bill E. has been relocated to Manhattan’s Upper West Side, his siblings are in SoHo awaiting adoption at Treasure & Bond, a very cool store owned by Nordstrom’s where 100% of all after-cost profits benefit children in need.
Treasure & Bond
Adopt a goat (puppet) today!
Lame Adventures 