Now that it is March, Elsbeth, my superior, is planning a mid-month business trip to a tile show in Las Vegas. Actually, how Elsbeth plans her trip is that she tells me to plan her schedule. If the economy were not recovering so sluggishly, I would accompany her as I have on these trips many times in years past. She usually enjoys this trip immensely while I play mush hound, panting hard and towing the load. That trip is the hardest I work all year, so the fact that I am not going and she is, is almost a vacation for me. Yet, if I were tagged to don my mush hound guise, that would also mean that my dismal wages would have finally increased exponentially. In that case, I would gladly embrace complete mental and physical collapse with uncharacteristic gusto and glee.
One of our tile vendors forwarded me an invitation for my lord and master to attend a private viewing of their new products away from the convention center where this event is being held. Posted below in the graphic that decorated the invitation.
Ling instantly voiced her objection to it the second she saw it on my screen from both a graphic design and self-esteem perspective. Next, I shared it with Elsbeth, who suggested maybe she should don the same getup as the model when she visits. Some years back, this vendor tossed a party where attendees were encouraged to dress as rock stars. I was asked who my boss would be. I deadpanned:
Me: Z. Z. Top.
Next, I shared the invitation with my colleagues and Coco. I asked Coco to don her Dr. Ruth hat and explain it to me. My fellow N(ot) Y(et) U(seful) graduate succinctly surmised:
Coco: Forbidden fruit balanced on a stiletto with a woman fisting her ass.
I shared this insight with The Quiet Man and Greg. Both appreciated the Coco-ian wit, but The Quiet Man added:
The Quiet Man: Can I keep this picture?
Apparently, the more he stared at it throughout the course of the day, the more certain he was that he was looking at an image of Charlie Sheen’s next wife. He has yet to explain to us how this image can possibly sell tile.