Lame Adventure 412: The Deodorant Debacle

Some chase storms, some chase skirts, Adele sings a song where she’s chasing pavements (I have no idea what that’s about), and earlier this month, I was chasing deodorant. It started when I noticed a week after I purchased my preferred brand, Mitchum women’s unscented sensitive skin variety, that I had forgotten that I had tucked away deep in my wallet a seventy-five cents off coupon for my next purchase of this product at Duane Reade.

The coupon that started this madness.

The coupon that started this madness.

Duane Reade is a very popular store here in New York City, with over 250 locations, about sixty percent in Manhattan, or one approximately every ten feet north, south, east or west.

Duane Reade store with old logo.

Duane Reade store with old logo.

For many, including me, they are our go-to pharmacy, a place for health and beauty needs, pet toys, paper products, light bulbs, beer and even, in recent years, sushi. I’ve never eaten their sushi, but I can personally attest that their selection of craft beer on tap is quite good. Duane Reade is such a significant part of the New York City landscape that back in the Nineties when my former significant other, Voom, was a corporate speechwriter for the brokerage firm, Dean Witter, her great aunt blathered to her friends that her grand-niece worked at Duane Reade.

Duane Reade store with new logo.

Duane Reade store with new logo.

I noticed that my coupon was due to expire on the tenth of March. In the infinity of my naiveté I thought:

Me: Oh good, I have plenty of time.

One night on my way home from The Grind, I stopped off at the Duane Reade closest to my sanctum sanctorum to replenish my deodorant. Unfortunately, that night, they were low on all Mitchum for women products.

Plenty of space for my brand of wetness protection.

Plenty of space for my brand of wetness protection.

Something else I noticed was that Mitchum’s packaging has changed. The new packaging is promoting 48-hour protection and something called “oxygen odor control technology” that ominously “fights odor before it starts”. What does that even mean? Is my deodorant now psychic? Why reformulate a product that was working perfectly fine? I shower daily and I apply deodorant daily. Is it really necessary for me to slather my armpits with a chemical shield that is going to stop odor and wetness for two days straight? If this is even possible, is whatever in that shield safe? I suddenly had this terrifying vision of my sensitive skin reacting adversely to this ridiculously long lasting product leaving me with deep, gaping wounds in the area of my body that formerly housed my armpits. If I am going to request time off from The Grind, I would prefer it is for vacation, not for undergoing emergency hospitalization.

I also noticed that Mitchum is not the only brand of women’s deodorant shilling 48-hour protection. Their competition has gotten on the 48-hour protection bandwagon, too.

Secret Outlast: outlast what, common sense about what's healthy?

Secret Outlast: outlast what, common sense about what’s safe for one’s skin?

Buy Degree's 48-hour protection and go to the Grammy's feeling confident about not needing to reapply your deodorant for two days.

Buy Degree’s 48-hour protection and go to the Grammy awards feeling confident about not needing to reapply your deodorant for two days.

Who decided that 48-hour protection is what the consumer wants, much less needs? I certainly was not asked my opinion, but in case anyone is listening: I think this is an idea as ban-worthy as asbestos, DDT and if the stars ever align properly, the Kardashians.

The next evening, I again visited my near-by Duane Reade’s deodorant aisle. The Mitchum stock had been fully replenished with reformulated 48-hour protection products, but I did not see any that were unscented and for sensitive skin.

This sucks.

This sucks.

Over the weekend, I had to run an errand down to West 55th Street. I decided that I would visit every Duane Reade for twenty blocks in search of my deodorant. On this hunt, I found many things.

Looky here, it's 6 1/2 Avenue!

Look here, it’s 6 1/2 Avenue!

A yellow trash bag floating between skyscrapers.

A yellow trash bag floating between skyscrapers.

Same yellow trash bag landed.

Same yellow trash bag landed.

New York City sewer cover made in India.

New York City sewer cover made in India.

The one thing I did not find was a single tube of Mitchum women’s unscented sensitive skin deodorant in a single Duane Reade. This was discombobulating.

Truly discombobulating.

Truly discombobulating.

Not to mention irritating. My coupon was going to expire the next day.

Sculpture illustrating my level of irritation.

Sculpture illustrating my level of irritation.

I expanded my search to the many Duane Reades located uptown. Again, not a single store had my deodorant. Finally, completely crazed and disoriented after scouring the deodorant aisles of countless Duane Reades blanketing the West Side of Manhattan, I entered Price Wise on Broadway at 85th Street.

Price Wise here I come!

Price Wise here I come!

Like Duane Reade, Price Wise is another if you can think of it, they probably have it store. Price Wise was the place where my hunt for the holy grail of deodorants had finally ended in success.

Center stage on the shelf!

Center stage on the shelf!

Cue a chorus of voices singing:

Chorus of Voices: Hallelujah!

I remembered that I also needed a box of tissues. I brought my purchases to the cashier. The total came to $5.75. I thought:

Me: Sweet!

I handed over my seventy-five cents off coupon and reached into my wallet for a five. The clerk looked at me and frowned. She spoke sympathetically:

Price Wise Clerk: I’m sorry, honey, this coupon is only good at Duane Reade.

Yes, I felt dumber than this box of rocks.

I felt dumber than this box of rocks.

Advertisements

149 responses to “Lame Adventure 412: The Deodorant Debacle

  1. I can’t speak for all women, he’ll I can’t speak for any actually, but 48 hour deodorant was made for guys like me. Protector of the body’s essential oils, I choose not to shower from Friday morning after 6:30 until 6:00 am on Monday. Unless I gave to attend a wedding or some other quasi religious affair.

    Gotta run to catch my train. More later…

    Like

    • Thanks for clearing that up. That explains a lot about why the subway smells so ripe in summer.

      Like

    • Glad to see only 2 iPhuckups this morning–do far anyway.

      Sorry to hear about the coupon conundrum. Okay, not really a conundrum but I couldn’t resist a little early alliteration. Tough luck. Any chance Duane Reade will extend due to their apparent boycott of your favored unscented 24 hour protection? And when did America’s Man’s Man lend his name to underarm protection? Marketing Genius I say. Once the last lights have flickered on Cape a Fear or The Longest Day, America–both genders–will be keeping their pits safe with Robert Mitchum.

      Like

      • If this deodorant had been named “Robert Mitchum for Women” and had that picture of him brandishing the love and hate knuckle tattoos from “Night of the Hunter” I would have been first in line to buy it. And likely the only woman in line for a product with such bizarre marketing … I have the sinking feeling that my deodorant of choice is going the way of the rotary phone, not to imply that I’d welcome rubbing one of those on my armpits post-showering.

        Like

  2. Hey sometimes stores will honor a competitors coupon. No harm in trying. Your photos are spot on ha!

    Seriously, it is a little scary to think the chemicals in the deoderant. Why 48 hours?

    Happy Monday… Blah.

    Like

    • It sounds to me (courtesy of Mike G the Enlightening) that the essential oils of the female of the species are now equal to that of the male. Score one for stinking equally … I guess.

      Like

  3. Thanks for running all over town, love 6 1/2 Avenue.

    Cheers,

    R.

    Like

  4. “Why reformulate a product that was working perfectly fine?” or “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

    I did some math. Time spent hunting @$xx.00 per hour + tickets and tokens for mass transit @$xx.00 per + electric bill for typing and sending + future time at therapist @$xxxxxxxxxxxx.00 per visit = about $23,592.45.

    That Mitchum stuff better work well. You’ll be sweating those bills.

    btw…chemists are now working on 72 hr formulae :mrgreen:

    Like

    • Thank you Math Wizard Jim for doing those calculations for me. I have since found it available on Amazon in 6-pack size. Soon, I anticipate my sister, Dovima, will ask me what I want for my upcoming mini-milestone birthday (this year’s ends in a 5). I’m thinking about foregoing my usual request for Gap tee shirts and say, “Three packs of Mitchum for Women Anti-perspirant & Deodorant Sensitive Skin, Fragrance Free, Clear Gel, 2.25 Oz (Pack of 6).” That should have my pits well covered into 2015.

      Like

      • You are a clever one. Good ask.

        Like

      • I apparently have found my soul mate. Sorry — it’s Jim, not you. I was doing the calculations in my head as I read. That would be waytoomuchcostofhunt >savingsofcoupon.

        Another option, one which I’ve used for many years: no chemicals under the arms. Nada. Try it on your next break. Just stay clean. It actually works once your body is used to it.

        Like

        • What! I’m not your soul mate, Melanie! Well … I do like Jim, so I’ll adapt. Onto the topic du jour, deodorized armpits: you don’t want to be within a ten foot radius of mine, if unprotected, without a heavy duty gas mask. If not, I can assure you that mine would give your gag reflex a vigorous workout. I’m a heavy sweater whether I’m riding my spin bike like a maniac or just lying in a hammock reading The New Yorker. Mike G’s aforementioned essential oils are very active in this hyper New Yorker of Italian descent.

          Like

  5. I share your need to buy unscented products, and I have had similar results searching for deodorant. I don’t understand, is it so popular that it is sold out, and if so shouldn’t they order more of such a high demand product? Or do the people on the order desk thing they know more than we – the consumers? I’m always fairly quick to consult management, as I assume if I can’t find something it might be discontinued. If it is, I need to spend the next month running all over the city buying the very last of “whatever it is that I won’t be able to buy ever again”. I really wish that manufacturers would consult me more often. And by more often, I mean just once! Also love the Ave. 6 ½. Have a good week!

    Like

    • I think that scented products claiming they’re “powder fresh, “shower fresh”, “roadkill fresh” (okay, maybe not that one)are far more popular with consumers. So I suspect that unscented is hard to find because it is a low demand item. Or, maybe you are onto something about whoever orders these products flipping the unscented varieties the bird. You would think that with the overuse of the word “natural” and “organic” in everything from bananas to bedding, an unscented deodorant would have a built-in consumer base. But it seems that’s wishful thinking in a world that is open to buying deodorants with staying power for the entirety of the weekend, a weekend far away from a shower of course.

      Like

  6. At least she was kind enough to call you honey. I also need gentle deodorant so use Jason’s. I wish companies wouldn’t change their products and packaging as often as they do. Shopping for shampoo drives me crazy. I’ve been told to buy such things by the case through e-bay, but that’s ridiculous, don’t you think?

    Like

    • No. Not really. I think if I had only done that in the first place it would have saved me the brain cells I shed and will never get back in my pointless quest to find a product that dastardly Duane Reade has discontinued from their shelves.

      Like

  7. Not to lessen the deodorant debacle, but NYC sewer covers made in India? Kind of reminds me of when I went on a trip to Hawaii and wanted to buy an authentic Hawaiian shell bracelet for my niece. It was made in China.

    Like

  8. Perhaps that 48-hour protection is needed for those bohemian types who put deodorant on whilst hanging out in Central Park. I once witnessed that. But what with the chemicals needed to provide such protection, I understand why you had to seek out that which had served you well otherwise I fear you would have to resort to crystals. Some do that. Rub crystals under the arm. Not sure why.

    I’m rambling. Sorry.

    Like

    • Back in the day, I knew someone who rubbed crystals under her arms, Brig. The word “ripe” was prevalent in my vocabulary in those days, too.

      Like

    • Hey! I use crystals or actually Thai deodorant stones, made of some magnesium derivative that inhibits bacteria and has no other chemicals. You wet it to apply or use it when you’re a little damp right out of the shower! Really it works great – I’ve been using them for years! But I agree, Brigitte. 48 hours of protection is scary – no idea what they put in that deodorant that is so potent!

      Like

  9. Great post, V and great shots! It was like this Mitchum deodorant was some kind of Grail Quest! But I’m glad you finally found it. Too bad you couldn’t use your coupon.

    Like

    • By the time I found that deodorant, Cathy, I was so loopy, if I was required to give my signature I would not have hesitated to employ a thumb print, and possibly not even my own. Glad you like the shots. They were all via my iPhone, most using the HDR filter — High Definition Radiation, right?

      Like

      • Something like that: Actually High Dynamic Range! By the way, I’m almost finished with my photography website! I still have to do a self-portrait and artist’s statement for the “Info” page, but it’s up now if you have time to look and so desire in the near future (probably close to bedtime for you!). cathyulrichphotography.com

        Like

  10. I knew this one was bound to be good, just from seeing the title. My question is this: does 48 protection assume one does not bathe every 24? Is that really what this is about? I mean, I suppose you could buy the stuff and save on your water bill at the same time. Love these posts about your search for hygiene products, dental, underarm, and otherwise.

    Sweating it, in Ecuador,
    Kathy

    Like

  11. Oh, shit, forgot my———-hugs from Ecuador—that too!

    Like

  12. Okay, my cursory examination of trade data suggests that similarly identified commodities from India are being imported duty free and at about $1 per kilo. Much cheaper than coke, heroin or other controlled substances.

    Like

  13. It’s terrible when that happens, LA. A similar incident happened to me in February, and although I was in the correct store, I was in the wrong year. My voucher had expired on February 17th 2013. Sometimes, you just wish you were standing on one of those sewer covers that magically opens there and then! Well, I do. Sometimes.

    Like

  14. I’m with you – unscented everything. Also wondering why people wouldn’t want to slap on some new BO juice daily even if a shower was not in their plans.
    I had a very lame adventure yesterday and you were the inspiration for this blog: http://mycruisestories.com/2014/03/18/my-lame-adventure/

    Like

    • Back in the day, I worked with a guy who was not into showering daily, but he’d liberally douse himself with cologne. I made sure to sit near an open window.

      I have read your lame adventure and I would say I feel your pain, but I do not want to feel pain like that! Meanwhile your dog is probably wondering why you’re not playing fetch with her right now. Try to avoid the heroics during your recovery. If you see a cat caught in a tree on fire, just call 9-1-1.

      Like

      • I hate when people douse themselves in cologne. No breathing in their vicinity. Worse than the laundry soap aisle in the supermarket with all its heavily scented products.

        I’m probably safe on the cat thing, all my neighbors have dogs.

        Like

        • I recall that it was thanks to the antics of a dog named Jake that has your arm now in a sling (or, is it still encased in the splint?). Fun times with critters.

          There seems to be a right way and a wrong way to wear fragrance. My friends, coincidentally, all have the right way down. A colleague from Way Back When once told me that her grandmother told her, “When you leave an elevator, make sure your fragrance doesn’t stay behind.” I never met her grandmother but I liked the way that woman thought. She probably smelled good, too.

          Like

          • I’m still in the splint. The finger swelling has to go down before they could put a cast on it, which they may not do anyway because the break is in the elbow joint.

            Your colleague’s grandmother was a wise woman. Subtle is definitely the way to go where fragrances are concerned.

            Like

    • I read your story and my heart goes out to you. You’re right no good deed goes unpunished.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I am terrible when it comes to saving money. I would have bought the deodorant in the first place I found it. I keep coupons once in awhile but I rarely remember to use them.

    Like

    • But the problem was Wendy that I could not find my deodorant in almost anyplace or at least any Duane Reade. I was so flummoxed by the end of my hunt, I probably would have shelled out $20 for that tube of it.

      Like

  16. i think the 48 hour de-odorbars are for working moms (well, heck, ANY moms…) because some days i swear I pack two days worth of crap into the hours of 5pm till my head hits the pillow. however, now that i know these magical bars are clairvoyant and can block incoming smells, i am slathering this stuff all OVER my clothes, arms, legs or anywhere else that might end up with baby/toddler goo on it. thanks for the hot tip!

    Like

  17. Just noticed your post is now live on Freshly Pressed. Congratulations again, my friend. I’m SOOOOOO happy for you, and you SO deserve it.

    Hugs from Ecuador,
    Kathy

    Like

  18. This was a riot. Haven’t we all been the center fool in such a comedy of consumerist errors? And since childhood, I have always wondered the logic behind such schmuck-bait as “new and improved” (what was he old stuff? Poison?). Thoroughly enjoyable read. Thanks for the laffs!

    Like

    • Hey, thanks for visiting and commenting. I SO agree with you about “schmuck-bait” (wonderful choice of phrasing!), that concept of “new and improved”. My theory is that it’s spin for “less and worse”. For example, when yogurt was reduced from 8 ounces to 6 and the price was raised. “They” never admit who reaps the benefit of the improvement, but the cynic in me (99% of my total being) is sure it isn’t the hapless consumer. Welcome to Lame Adventures-land!

      Like

  19. Oh, and wonderful accompanying pictorial essay to boot!

    Like

  20. Congrats on the fresh press, V! Maybe that 48 hour protection will come in handy after all so you can obsessively refresh your stats? I can’t think of another reason for needing 48 hour protection.

    Like

  21. terrific blog. terrific story. i might throw my blog away and just read yours!

    Like

    • I’d say your flattery has me blushing from the soles of my feet to the roots of my hair, but I’m actually just sitting way too close to the steam heat over here in my sanctum sanctorum. Thanks for the visit and thanks for the comment — and hang onto your blog! I like your thoughts on wine. The word “swill” is one of my favorites. It rates right up there with quaff.

      Like

  22. This is hilarious! It’s the kind of battle I have all the time – in my head – but have never actually talked about out loud. I agree that the 48 hour protection is ridic.

    Congratulations on both your “freshly pressed” status, and your passion for staying fresh! LOL. We all appreciate both the post, and your dedication to wearing deodorant.

    Like

  23. I now realize that I am probably wearing hopelessly inadequate deodorant. It doesn’t even say 24-hour protection. Sigh. But you gave me a good laugh!

    Like

    • Thanks for taking the time to read and comment! I don’t expect we’ll be seeing a deodorant anytime soon offering the unthinkable in 2014: 8 – 12 hour protection with a quarter of the toxicity of the competition. I suppose “heirloom” is not the best name for deodorant, either, even though I would be drawn to that variety like metal to magnet. Throw organic in front of heirloom and I’ll buy it by the case.

      Like

  24. She really should have gave that one to you! Oh man!! This was funny. I loved seeing the city through your adventure. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!

    Like

    • Hey, thanks Amy. If Duane Reade’s 250+ stores has a monopoly on health and beauty aids in this glorious metropolis, the one Price Wise that’s on my neighborhood radar is equal to a shack in the woods that primarily sells pipe cleaners. I don’t fully understand what I’m saying here, but I’m confident that you get my point. I also wouldn’t be surprised if that kind clerk would have been handed a pink slip with her paycheck had she honored Darth Vader’s, I mean Duane Reade’s coupon. In actuality, Price Wise was the better deal. They charged me $3.49. Had I found my obscure deodorant at Duane Reade, I would have paid $5.29 — less that 75 cents, of course. If you suffer insomnia, I am sure this response has provided a cure. So much for brevity being the soul of wit.

      Like

  25. Mitchum’s tag line used to be “So effective you could skip a day” so it’s been pushing the 48 hour thing for decades. I also used the sensitive skin unscented variety but as it became harder and harder to find I tried (on a friend’s recommendation) one of those crystal rock things. Total skeptic but it beats the pants out of any other deodorant I’ve ever tried.

    Like

    • Just the thought of using those crystal rock things makes me sweat, Heather. I think it’s very risky for someone like me, but maybe I’ll try it the next time I take a vacation. If I stink to high heaven at least I’ll only be around family and strangers. Thanks for visiting and commenting!

      Like

  26. For great protection, really cheap and non scented and safe for sensitive skin try using baking soda right out of the box. Dampen your hands and pat it on. It really works! I’ve been using it for years and I still have all my friends.
    Ruth from At Home on the Road

    Like

    • Ruth, I seem to recall that baking soda is one of those products one can use countless ways, like the duct tape my father spray painted gold that held my thoroughly rusted out ’74 Chevy Vega together back in the day. Not to imply that I’m going to use duct tape as a deodorant … or at least, not yet. Thanks for visiting and commenting!

      Like

  27. This could be a new Eddie Murphy movie – “Yet ANOTHER 48 hours”

    Like

  28. Just checking on you. Looks like your holding up–the freshly sweat! LOL Thank GOD you got that 48 hour protection!

    I’m so happy for you, V! YOU SO deserve this!

    Hugs from Ecuador,
    And you know who that is!

    Like

  29. I am embarrassingly familiar with the run-all-over-because-i-have-a-coupon debacle. Somewhere around the 3rd stop I realize that my effort and gas exceed the value of my coupon; but… a good coupon is a good coupon – right? Still makes ya feel good. I bet I wouldn’t get as frustrated if I had your view though. Love the looks of your route!

    Like

    • Had I only remembered I that coupon in my wallet (for months) when I last purchased my deodorant some weeks back — at my neighborhood Duane Reade, I would not have encountered this particular debacle. But once I remembered that I did have it, I got a bit obsessed and even more so as the expiration date grew closer.

      Yes, there is always plenty to see here in Manhattan no matter where you look. I almost included a pigeon shot, but I’ll save my favorite doity boid for another post. Thanks for visiting and for commenting!

      Like

  30. What a great story, I loved reading it. Not only do I like your style.. In May me and my daughter are visiting New York ourselves, we will for sure look out for your deodorant for our sensitive skins 👍

    Like

    • Have a great time in my town! By then, it really will feel like spring here, but don’t count on finding my deodorant. I think it’s gone the way of the subway token. Thanks for visiting and for taking the time to comment.

      Like

  31. Your favorite deodorant has all the earmarks of being discontinued forever. I was shocked that you didn’t buy at least three or four of them while you had the chance.

    Like

    • That was because there weren’t three or four of them. I’m also one of those weirdos that likes to leave something behind for “the other guy” should there be anyone else like me searching for this product. This deodorant altruist has since learned that it’s available by the six pack on Amazon. Three six packs will rate Super Saver Shipping and equal years of coverage. Happy days are here again, or at least dry and unscented ones. Thanks for visiting and commenting!

      Like

  32. I bet you smelled pretty gross by the time you got home.
    (yuk-yuk-yuk)

    Like

  33. Your Duane Reade sounds like our Fred Meyer…right down to the sushi. One-stop shopping at its finest! Though I can’t vouch whether or not they carry Mitchum women’s unscented sensitive skin deodorant.

    Like

    • Hey Mark, I just Googled Fred Meyer. I see that it’s an Oregon-based chain. Thanks for the heads up should I ever find myself visiting your state. One of my blogger buds, Maggie O’C, lives there. It seems like a lovely place with great restaurants. And don’t worry, I’ll tag her to look for my Mitchum at Fred’s. Thanks for visiting and commenting.

      Like

  34. Fred Meyer is one stop shopping! It’s bigger than Duane Reade, although I love me some Duane Reade because they really are everywhere, every 10 feet so in case you go in, buy your stuff leave and realize as you walk away that you forgot Altoids, you just go right into the next one. I will look for your Mitchum products but Suave screwed me over years ago when they stopped making roll on. What’s wrong with roll on?

    Like

    • Maggie, that is so true about Duane Reade hopping, yes I consciously wrote hopping instead of shopping. There are so many Duane Reade’s and Starbucks’ blanketing Manhattan, you could easily dart out of a Starbucks and into a Duane Reade then into another Starbucks, then into another Duane Reade all the way from my sanctum sanctorum on the Upper West Side to The Grind in Tribeca. And I’m certain that I’d have better luck finding my deodorant in Starbucks at this point. Sorry to hear that your roll on has gone the way of the 8-track tape.

      Like

  35. Being a not-generally-smelly person, I’m not sure about stopping odor before it starts, but the 48-hour thing, I completely understand. I only shower every…third or fourth day. I have extremely dry skin and showering just makes it worse, regardless of moisturizers. They shouldn’t just change a whole line of product, though.

    Like

  36. That’s when you angrily swear that the store ad says they match competitors coupons. And then hope they don’t check.

    In Degree’s defense, the Grammy’s can be a really, really long show. And if Kanye jumps in on everyone’s acceptance speech, you’re covered. Two whole days’ worth.

    Like

    • Heather, that kind clerk seemed pretty fair and square to me, but now you’re making me think. That’s always dangerous. NYC is a very big town with actors. Could the kindness and sympathy she demonstrated to me and towards my coupon have been an act? Was I duped? Could I have actually saved that 75 cents at a Duane Reade competitor? Now you have me reaching for the Tums. Please don’t make me think about Kanye for that will lead to thoughts about Kim followed by more acid reflux.

      Like

  37. Wait. There are seriously deodorats that last 48 hours now? How could I have not known this? To think I shower every friggin’ day unnecessarily! Silly me! I’m off to get me one of these first thing in the morning! LOL. Thank you for a great funny read! 🙂

    Like

    • Possibly a 48-hour deodorant is so potent, you can shower and it continues to work, similar to an ink stain on your hand that won’t rub off no matter how hard you scrub with soap. But I’m in no hurry to test this off-the-top-of-my-head theory personally. It’s also possible that whatever chemicals are in ink are a lot safer than whatever toxins that lurk within 48-hour deodorant, not that I’m suggesting we apply Magic Markers to our armpits. Thanks for visiting and for commenting!

      Like

  38. No woman, none I know anyway, needs this 48-hour protection thing. We understand the necessity of water and soap. We bath.

    Loved this, your photos dead to rights.

    Like

  39. Ah yes the cruelty of coupon craziness – it’s just not worth the myriad of drama’s utilising on them calls upon you. As for the 48 hour protection – suspicious, highly suspicious. If they can do that why then by all the gods can’t they design one that actually works for more than 10 minutes on men who labour.

    Like

    • Spot on points all, Jenni. My science fiction-style deodorant fantasy is that every time I step into a confined space in summer, such as a stuffed to the gills subway train, all body odor smells would instantly disappear. Where do the vapors go? I have not fantasized that far, but hopefully they would not widen the hole in the ozone. Thanks for visiting and for commenting.

      Like

  40. I recently visited family in NYC and totally thought Duane Reade was some type of popular accounting firm (something about the name or the font or maybe that I just make random assumptions). I entered one out of curiosity and there were TONS’o’people there. Now I know the throngs were probably made up of people fiercely gripping their deodorant coupons and claiming that $0.75 discount before it was too late.

    Like

    • Sarah, I would not be surprised if one day Duane Reade partners with H&R Block at tax time so customers can get both their deodorant and taxes done at the same time in the same place. They already have Chase Bank ATM’s. If they have an opening for Director of Business Development, I suggest you submit your resume. If you get the gig, feel free to reward me with a deodorant. Thanks for visiting and for commenting.

      Like

  41. Now I want psychic deodorant. And I’m willing to pay top dollar for it.

    Congrats on Freshly Pressed! Great post – as usual. We love our fix of the Big Apple from LameAdventures.

    Like

  42. Your post had me laughing out loud!

    Like

  43. Late to the party, but for the record I also use a Mitchum deodorant brand. As the prime shopper in our household, I feel the pain of your hunt. Meanwhile, 48-hour deodorant protection does make more sense than 54-hour screen screen … well, at least to me. Congrats on the Freshly Pressed!!!! … and thank for keeping in touch!

    Like

  44. STELLAR lame adventure! I’ve done the same thing and now I loath coupons. CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING FPd!!!!!!!
    I can’t believe I missed this! I’m taking a night class and had to present on Tuesday night. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it…..

    Like

    • I almost always forget to use coupons, too, Susie, but this was one I wanted to remember to use which is why I put it in my wallet. But I never put coupons in my wallet, so I forgot about it for several months … Oh, first world problems! Hey, I hope the Tuesday night class is going well. I published this post on Monday morning … Seriously, thanks for making it over here!

      Like

      • Thanks! I’m learning a ton, but this week is a light one. I am working with an editor on my book and am focusing on that this week. The second book will be so much easier!!! It’s like sewing a lined sport coat without a pattern. I have to keep ripping out the seams until I get it right….

        Like

  45. Here in the hill country, we keep waiting for Mitchum to come out with a 365 day deodorant to get us from one annual bath to another. So far, they’ve only come up with 180 day variety and I’m afraid Connie is going to use the water up in the rain barrel between spring and fall.

    Like

    • There’s a rumor Russell that Mitchum is working on formulating a 365 day deodorant that they intend to market specifically to the hill country. Once they’ve perfected the bacon scent, expect to find it on a store self near you.

      Like

  46. HA! That one cracked me up! Definitely a Freshly Pressed worthy Lame Adventure. You must have been to so many stores and were worrying about that 48-hour protection shield that rational coupon-clipping guidelines escaped you. It’s understandable … that whole 48 hour preventative sweat measure would have tripped me out. Ha! Good post my friend, rocks and all, glad it made it to the front page. 🙂

    Like

    • Thanks buddy! Swabbing one’s pits with chemicals that could stop wetness for 48 hours is just too Dr. Strangelove for me. That’s overkill toxicity, but of course, I still wanted to save 75 cents on my purchase.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s