On the second to last day of summer, Milton and I attended our last theater production before the advent of fall. We took advantage of the 20 at 20 discount, a discount that allows theatergoers to get tickets to select off-Broadway shows for $20 twenty minutes before curtain. The show we chose to see was Forbidden Broadway: Alive and Kicking!, a satirical send-up of Broadway musicals.
Milton arrived at the theater ahead of me so he went to the box office and added his name to the list of people that were hoping to score seats at about 75% off the regular $79 ticket price. As we were waiting, he recognized a gay male porn star and Pia Lindstrom, daughter of Hollywood legend Ingrid Bergman. The porn star was not attending the show, and Pia was not trying to score a deeply discounted ducat. In fact, when I checked her out on Wikipedia, I learned that we were all seeing this revue on her 74th birthday.
When Milton said to me sotto voce, “Pia Lindstrom,” I had my usual reaction:
Me: Huh? Who? What? Where?
Then, we scored our cheap tickets, seats in the middle of the last row of the mezzanine (a fancy name for the balcony).
Milton went to the restroom. When he returned he reported:
Milton: Pia’s sitting in the fifth row of the orchestra.
Me: Thank you Pia stalker.
While we were watching from the rafters and Pia Lindstrom from the premium orchestra, everyone laughed uproariously, Milton got wheezy, and then the show ended and everyone left. Barely five steps outside the theater Milton mutters in a confidential tone:
Milton: Plaid shirt — that guy from Saturday Night Live.
My head becomes a periscope, I don’t know where I’m looking, I don’t see any guy in a plaid shirt, much less anyone from Saturday Night Live. I bleat:
Me: Who? Andy Samberg?
Milton: No. You missed him. He’s gone. You know, the fat one.
Me: Horatio Sanz?
I realize that Horatio’s been off the show for close to a decade.
Milton: He plays women.
Me: Bobby Moynihan? He plays Snooki.
Milton: I think that’s who it was.
Whenever I am out with Milton, rarely is there ever a time when he does not spot some celebrity on the street that I often miss even after he points them out. Milton has an excellent eye for noticing famous people. I don’t. At all. I’m almost celebrity sighting blind.
These are the types of sights that catch my eye: