Lame Adventure 295: Tree Trash Update

I was feeling perfectly fine and then I wasn’t.  The Unforeseen Demon of Surprise Illness paid me a visit for a few nasty hours on Monday evening.  During that period I completely lost my breakfast, lunch, several pieces of dark chocolate covered edamame, a few handfuls of some crunchy crap I scarf at my desk called Oriental Mix, a fig bar, and two glasses of a Happy Hour Cabernet I quaffed after work with my buddy Coco.

Colleague-approved Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Edamame.

During this episode of violent evacuation I coincidentally lost interest in everyone and everything that gives me pleasure.  The list includes (in no particular order) writing this blog, shooting pictures, sex, food, alcohol, comedy, tennis, dogs, Gotham City wildlife, The New Yorker, music, movies, theater and film. To put in perspective how incredibly lousy I felt, if all four Beatles would have magically appeared in the center of my sanctum sanctorum to personally serenade me, I would have slammed the bathroom door in their Fab Four faces and groaned:

Me:  Go away!

The next morning I woke feeling feverish with a pounding headache, wondering, “what the hell was that about” regarding a hallucination I suffered prominently featuring a bullwhip. I am not by nature the violent type. The last time I fired a rubber band, several years ago, it hit a wall and ricocheted into my forehead.  Wow, did that sting. Once fully conscious I emailed my boss Elsbeth that I was taking a sick day for I was feeling like shit on a stick.  Possibly I used the phrase “I’m feeling sub-par” instead.

I continued to rest but I quickly caught cabin fever and needed a fix of daylight.  I also needed to run an errand for bland foodstuffs.  As I walked up my block I noticed the now infamous Tree Decorated with the Hanging Trash.  Here are updated photos.

Bags still in branches eager for their close-ups.

The tree is starting to bud and as pictured below, both bags are in full bloom and still flipping off Mother Nature.

White fast food delivery bag hanging in there.

Fairway bag in full bloom in its dual guises: free advertising and litter.

It appears that rain is in the forecast for later in the week so she’ll very likely have the final say about the presence of these two eyesores.  They’ll probably blow into my open window for refuge.  Hopefully I’ll be back to feeling groovey by then. Stay tuned.

20 responses to “Lame Adventure 295: Tree Trash Update

  1. Hope you feel better soon.
    PS–Chocolate covered edamame? that’s why you got sick. What a heinous combo platter!


  2. Sorry to hear you yourself were feeling like tree trash. Hope you are your perky, lame-adventuring self soon!


  3. Judging by your witticisms here, it reads like you’re feeling a little better. Hope you make a full recovery soon. Hang in there.

    Regarding the plastic tree refuse, if it doesn’t first blow into your open window for refuge, it’ll wind up in my flower bed to join every other existing bit of refuse blown in from along the Boston-Washington corridor.


  4. Well I was going to say ” Hope you feel much better soon.”; but Sam seems to have said it all !!!



  5. My guess is, it was the fig bar that did you in. I’ve never liked those things. God never intended figs to go around masquerading as a cookie. Your body just rejected them, and rightly so.

    Get well soon!


  6. So sorry to her of your GI troubles. Reminded of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry hadn’t gotten ill for many years until the infamous black and white cookie. I’m thinking it was that unique combo of chocolate covered edamame, the cab and the fig bar. I’m sure there was some small print you missed on the edamame. Re the rain and bags:let’s hope the bags don’t fill with water only to unload themselves on some unsuspecting passerby. Finally, absolutely loved the shit on a stick reference haven’t heard that in a while. Must be a 50-something thing. Right up there with “shit the bed.”


    • Actually I glommed onto that ‘shit on a stick’ reference when I first heard it in a film I saw in 1998 called Sliding Doors starring Gwyneth Paltrow when she was in her annoying British accent phase. Remember those days? On my way into work this morning I saw that both bags are still hanging onto the branches. Hearty litter. Well, I polished off the edamame yesterday to no further side effect so I’m not entirely convinced it was the culprit.


  7. Snoring Dog Studio

    Feel better soon, dear LA! Chocolate-covered edamame? That’s my guess for the culprit…


  8. Just look at your header and laugh. I did! Hang in there girl like the trash in the tree!


  9. I don’t get why everyone seems to be dissing the chocolate covered edamame. I can’t think of anything chocolate covered from Trader Joe’s that I don’t like! Glad you’re feeling better. I really enjoy reading your blog, sick or well. For your sake, I prefer well.


    • Could people be thinking that TJ’s chocolate coated the edamame pod and all? I think it’s pretty tasty and now both of my colleagues, who first thought it sounded strange, are converts. That’s very sweet of you to take the time to comment. Thanks. Glad you like visiting Lame Adventures-land!


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