The Lame Adventures family dog, Thurber, is suffering. Everything he got squeaks. In fact, he did not seem like his usual perky self when I suggested:
Me: Next year I’m gonna get you a squeaking Excedrin, Little Guy! What do you think of that?
"God in Heaven, please make it stop!"
At Target, my sister found the equivalent of a Harry & David sampler with a squeaking sausage, pear, Swiss cheese, cheesy ball and bag of crunchy cashew nuts. I gifted him with the purple squeaking duck.
"Hm. This doesn't smell like a pear."
"Hey! This Swiss is squeaking!"
"I'm trying hard to not appear to be suffering mental cruelty."
My niece, Sweet Pea, turned on the TV to the Yule Log.
American classic or why Europe thinks we're idiots.
"This is mesmerizing!"
"You change that channel, I'll bite your paw off!"
Lame Adventures 
Whenever I give my Boston Terrier, Stella, a squeaky toy, the first thing she does is remove the squeaker, then the stuffing. I find that empty plastic bottles are her favorite toy and they last longer!
LikeLike
I think if we gave Thurber an empty plastic bottle, he’d bounce it off our heads. His toys last probably because his collection is so vast. Whenever he acts whiny I remind him about all the poor dogs in Afghanistan that have no toys.
LikeLike
Maxie ate half a real excedrin and ran around the apartment in circles like a maniac. I think I would prefer she got a squeaky one. She’s also pissed with me because Thurber got WAY more presents than she did!
LikeLike
Maxie’s about a third Thurber’s size! Yikes! We’ll say it here in LA, Thurber is the family prince. I forgot to mention that he also got a squeaking mustard jar in his Harry & David pack. My brother, Axel, got him a bag of treats and a pumpkin-flavored bone he devoured in about five minutes. Then, Thurber looked at Axel and griped, “Why didn’t you get me anything fish-flavored?”
LikeLike
We decided to forego anything that squeaks this year, in exchange for jingle bell collars that nearly made us mad with ringing. Talk about LAME!
Kathy
LikeLike
Think about what it must be like to have to wear a jingle bell collar! “Bells, bells, bells, everywhere, I hear bells!” I’d be ready for a strait-jacket.
LikeLike