Lame Adventure 242: Damage Control

Earlier this year, I had reached the breaking point with my fan.  I am not referring to Milton, but my Vornado air circulator.  Even though Milton swears that my capacity for indifference to heat makes me the human equivalent of a hothouse plant, I am now at an age where my internal thermostat can soar from 98.6 to a million degrees in a tenth of a second.  Therefore, I have a greater appreciation for cool air.  I usually run my Vornado air circulator most days all year round.  I also find the hum soothing when I sleep.  Yet, I have been reluctant to have friends visit me in my sanctum sanctorum due to a cosmetic problem I had with it.  I had considered replacing my air circulator because of this unfortunate deformity, but the unit was functioning perfectly, and that seemed like such a rash solution.  The thought of seeing this loyal appliance standing in the street waiting for the trash collector disturbed me.  It sits across from my bed.  What if it suddenly had the capacity to speak, and it spilled its guts about things it has seen over the years?  This compelled me to log onto Vornado’s web site to seek a solution so we could stay together.  I was pleasantly surprised to see that Vornado products are manufactured in Andover, Kansas, a suburb of Wichita.

To: consumerservices@vornado.com

Hello,

I have had the same Vornado 280 CS air circulator for over ten years, possibly closer to fifteen.  I am very happy with it and have highly recommended Vornado products to my friends, family, boss and colleagues.  It makes no sense to me why anyone would buy any other air circulator since Vornado products are so well made and tower over their competition.  My only complaint with my 280 CS is not Vornado’s fault.  One of my clumsier friends has knocked over my 280 CS, not once but twice, the last time knocking out spokes in the grill.  This chap is such a liability he is no longer welcome anywhere near my air circulator.  My grill now looks like a toothless poor relation.  I would like to replace my air circulator’s grill.  Is it possible to do so?  If so, where can I order a new grill to accommodate my 280 CS?  Overall, the unit continues to work as well as the first day I bought it.  It’s just looking much less pretty.

Thank you for your assistance.  I hope you’ll be able to advise me.

Best regards,

Lame Adventures Woman

From:  consumerservices@vornado.com

I would be happy to mail you a new grill free of charge. I will put one in the mail for you.

Let me know if you need anything else.

Adrienne

To: consumerservices@vornado.com

Wow, Adrienne, that is so generous!  It’s a pleasure to know that Vornado employs people that are as terrific as their products.  If my 280 CS could talk, I’m sure it would thank you, too.  Although I don’t feel like I’ve exactly won the Powerball lottery, this jaded New Yorker certainly was not expecting you to gift me with a new grill at no charge.  Therefore, I am experiencing a slight Blanch Dubois  “kindness of strangers” moment.  Vornado truly rocks!

Could you please send the new grill to my attention at my place of employ?

Ten days later …

Xmas comes early - new grill with intact spokes!