Lame Adventure 205: Sniffling and Sneezing

After a day of denial where my loyal friend, Coco, insisted I was fine and that my sniffling and sneezing had been caused by exposure to mold, a conclusion likely reached as she reflected on the mold-covered bathroom in my think-tank department, Tile Labeling.  Yet, that problem has been eradicated.  Recently, Elsbeth, my lord and master, was motivated to have the mold removed after I said the twelve magical words every employer longs to hear:

Me:  Our bathroom’s a real health hazard, Boss.  Do we want a lawsuit?

Fast-forward to a few days ago, as Coco and I are sitting in a watering hole pounding beers while I sniffle, sneeze and wonder aloud:

Me:  Do you think I’m sick?

Coco (reasoning):  No, you’re fine.  You live in New York City.  The whole city’s covered in mold.

I have quit denying the obvious, and for the first time since February 2010, I have admitted that I am actually suffering a cold.  Even though this is not a monster, phlegm-filled, butt-kicker of a cold, I opted to stay indoors where I sneezed and sniffled for most of the July 4th holiday.  While on a tissue replenishment run, I did take a few photographs.  This one made me think that if Milton and I had ever mated, our spawn would have been this creature.

"You can take my picture, but do not, I repeat, do not photograph my left side!"

Meanwhile, Coco emailed me a slightly more dramatic shot as she observed the barges in the river that would launch the fireworks over the Hudson that night.

Waiting for the works!

When I returned to work on Tuesday, still sniffling and sneezing, I emailed Milton the details about my cold that had primarily nestled in one eye:

Me: It seems completely confined to my left eye where I feel like I’m holding three gallons of fluid.

Milton: Yuck! I have so many different allergies now that I have no idea when I have a cold.

To take my mind off my flowing eye and my sniffling and sneezing, Coco emailed me a video she shot of the fireworks display I did not attend because I was too busy – sniffling and sneezing.

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