After a day of denial where my loyal friend, Coco, insisted I was fine and that my sniffling and sneezing had been caused by exposure to mold, a conclusion likely reached as she reflected on the mold-covered bathroom in my think-tank department, Tile Labeling. Yet, that problem has been eradicated. Recently, Elsbeth, my lord and master, was motivated to have the mold removed after I said the twelve magical words every employer longs to hear:
Me: Our bathroom’s a real health hazard, Boss. Do we want a lawsuit?
Fast-forward to a few days ago, as Coco and I are sitting in a watering hole pounding beers while I sniffle, sneeze and wonder aloud:
Me: Do you think I’m sick?
Coco (reasoning): No, you’re fine. You live in New York City. The whole city’s covered in mold.
I have quit denying the obvious, and for the first time since February 2010, I have admitted that I am actually suffering a cold. Even though this is not a monster, phlegm-filled, butt-kicker of a cold, I opted to stay indoors where I sneezed and sniffled for most of the July 4th holiday. While on a tissue replenishment run, I did take a few photographs. This one made me think that if Milton and I had ever mated, our spawn would have been this creature.
Meanwhile, Coco emailed me a slightly more dramatic shot as she observed the barges in the river that would launch the fireworks over the Hudson that night.
When I returned to work on Tuesday, still sniffling and sneezing, I emailed Milton the details about my cold that had primarily nestled in one eye:
Me: It seems completely confined to my left eye where I feel like I’m holding three gallons of fluid.
Milton: Yuck! I have so many different allergies now that I have no idea when I have a cold.
To take my mind off my flowing eye and my sniffling and sneezing, Coco emailed me a video she shot of the fireworks display I did not attend because I was too busy – sniffling and sneezing.