Here it is: the dead of winter.
Save the wipers!
The city is looking bleak.
Wintertime specialty: snow covered uncollected trash.
I’ve read in the New York Times that New York is on track for the coldest February since 1934. I wasn’t around 81 years ago to recall that winter, but this February is certainly in the record books inside my head. It’s been cold in winter, but I never remember it being this cold. I wish that I could hibernate until mid-March. Yesterday I woke before the alarm, a melodic tune reminiscent of an air raid siren. After checking the time, I checked the weather.
An entire degree for each of my fingers and one for my thumb.
I rolled out of bed reasoning that in six months, it will probably feel a hundred degrees warmer and I’ll be pining for this blast of inhumane skin-searing freeze. Then, I rode my spin bike at warp speed for forty minutes. Afterward, I checked the temperature again anticipating that it might have doubled.
Shouldn’t there be more degrees by now? Are the rest in hiding?
I was not amused. I had the impression that Mother Nature was being a different two-word expression starting with mother. If it had been the weekend, I would have treated myself to a bowl of hearty comfort mush dotted with cranberries and drizzled with maple syrup.
Tasty mush!
I would have brewed a cup of my favorite green tea that looks like urine but tastes infinitely less disgusting.
Product placement.
Instead, it was the workweek: the time to grab a banana, a yogurt and a fruit bar to inhale at one’s desk at The Grind while pounding high octane English Breakfast tea to delay the coma that accompanies working in Excel. After locking my hovel, I indulged my obsession with the temperature one last time. Finally, the hallelujah moment had arrived and the mercury was crawling upward albeit with the gusto of an arthritic snail.
The weather playing hard to get (warm).
One day last week when I woke it was even colder than yesterday’s three; it was one-third the amount of degrees. Yes, it was an isolated miserable degree.
One entire degree.
That feels like -11.
In the almost 32 years that I have lived in New York City, I never recall the temperature dropping down to one stand alone degree. I asked myself:
Me: Am I living in New York or Anchorage?
Vacation destination.
Last Sunday, the temperature soared to 41!
Heat wave!
What 41 degrees feels like: wow, 41 degrees!
I layered less, wore my lighter down parka, didn’t wear a hat and hightailed up West End Avenue on a walk that predominantly entailed dodging melting snow dripping off awnings, sidestepping mounds of slush and jumping across ankle deep curbside puddles that could have doubled as ponds. Not so simple sidewalk strolling that doubled as an aerobic workout.
Hurdle this.
As much as I loathed this obstacle course, I relished being outdoors and not dressed for an expedition in the arctic. The Times has reported that under this long, bitterly cold winter:
“ … spring is stirring.
The snow, in fact, is a great insulator — the more the better, said Kristin Schleiter, senior curator at the New York Botanical Garden.”
Apparently, when spring arrives, flowers will bloom magnificently and New York is going to be awash in an explosion of color and hopefully not serenaded with a symphony of sneezing. Naturally, I welcome the warmth of spring. It’s a nice antidote to the ice, snow, slush and maybe even this guitar pick some joker left in the tip jar at my laundromat.
Eric Clapton was not here.
Lame Adventures 
Last Sunday deliver a tad of warmth to Cincinnati … I the mid 30s … but the cold has returned. Yesterday, during the walk from the mailbox to my abode, I was walking into the knifing cold wind – causing me to declare I’m official tired of the cold. … meanwhile, stay warm!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve just checked the temperature on my iPhone, Frank, and it’s 36 degrees right now! Woo hoo, tropical! But then I just had a reality smackdown and saw that the real feel is 27. Huh and grumble. But, hey, I’ll take 27 over -11. The cold has gotten real old for me, too.
LikeLike
Enjoy the blast from the furnace because colder crap could be coming your way.
LikeLike
I can so relate to how you’re feeling! I’ve lived in New York my whole life and don’t remember a winter so cold… I’m actually glad today is 20 degrees so I can take off the 7th layer of clothing and make it only 6…
Here’s to a quick start to spring and all the lovely flowers (and seasonal allergies) that come along with it!
Maybe Guitar Pick Tipper lost all his coins in a mound of snow….But it was a sorry attempt at gratitude!
LikeLike
I saw on my phone, Lia, that Monday’s high could climb up to 45. Bring on spring! That’s a very kind take on Guitar Pick Tipper. That never occurred to me. I assume this character is just another jaded New Yorker. Probably my next door neighbor, the eighth dwarf, Snarky.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh yes, I just checked the weather too and saw a 4 and a 5…
Thankfully no minus sign in front…
Could respite be coming to the Big Apple?: )
LikeLike
Respite seems to be on hold, Lia. It sounds like we’re going to feel more cold and see more flakes tomorrow and by the latter, I’m not referring to the woman I saw this evening sidestepping slush in ballet flats as if it was already May.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes today is definitely back to the cold!
Funny, I just saw a woman without socks walking today…. Brrrr!
LikeLike
I suppose that she didn’t get the memo that it’s winter.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I feel for you and everyone to the east of us here in Idaho. We’ve had a very mild winter. The crocuses are blooming. I might start gardening in March this year. The world is in the midst of a scary, unpredictable climate change and people are suffering. Bundle up, sweetie. It will pass.
LikeLike
Today, Jean, the temperatures have crossed 36 degrees! Beach weather! … Not quite, but the frozen driftwood might actually start drifting again if this “heat wave” continues. I complained to a friend that this sudden warmth is because I finally got around to writing this post grousing about the weather. Now I regret not writing it three weeks sooner!
LikeLike
V, I don’t know how you guys are dealing with this! Enough already. Maybe you can take a little comfort in the fact that there’s others in the nation that are going through much the same. Just keep repeating the mantra, as it comes out in white puffs of smoke, Spring is soon, spring is soon,” and watch out for those slick spots. Stay warm, my friend.
LikeLike
Good point, Brig, when I think of the billion acres of snow burying Boston. They’d likely find this New York City whining over the frozen mounds at the edges of the sidewalk wimpy. Right now, it’s 36. Bring on spring!
LikeLike
You’re entitled to some whining. Good grief, one degree would piss anyone off. Stay warm. 36 must seem quite balmy!
LikeLike
My favorite weather report today.
LikeLike
And it finally got better today, Bruce: the temperature has climbed up to 36 and it seems to be inching toward 39. It’s almost iced tea time!
LikeLike
Who needs to vacation in Alaska with its 41 degrees?
LikeLike
Good point, Bruce! Soon, Alaskans can resume visiting New York and balance will be returned.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My guess is that guy/gal is going to be missing his/her guitar pick at some point. The pick usually ends up in one’s pocket and feels like the rest of the change! I speak from experience…
The winter storms and cold finally made it our way – I think it’s supposed snow every day for the next week, although that makes me happy as it ends up the ski slopes too.
Hope it warms up soon, V. All that concrete seems to make the temperatures feel even colder (at least that was my observation when I lived in Boston)!
LikeLike
Cathy, at least the guy/gal who dumped his/her guitar pick in the tip jar didn’t toss in an open roll of Tums. Maybe you’re right and they were clueless.
It’s warmed up considerably today which is very welcome, but of course that means more melting and curbside ponds. But, I’ll take it. Besides, my colleague, Godsend, just went out to run my errand in the slush. What a buddy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know why you call her Godsend!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Am I sensing hope amid despair from the New York girl in the dead of winter???
It’s been really weird here. We were blasted with cold in November before plants had a chance to harden off and then we had summer-like temps in January. I’m just hoping there’s snow on the mountain when I’ll finally released from knee rehab prison…
LikeLike
Now that I’ve finally published a post grousing abut the bitterly cold weather, Susie, Mother Nature decides to again one up me: it’s 36 degrees right now! No complaints about that!
Hey, don’t try to rush your recovery! So you miss this one ski season, but when it finally heals properly, maybe you can enjoy another twenty. Note: this pessimist said when and not if.
LikeLike
My posts never keep up with my life either! I went for a walk this morning and it was downright springlike. Now it’s snowing big dogs…
I am listening to my body and won’t do anything until both calves and thighs look more similar. I can finally see a little muscle growing under my loose skin. YAY!
Thanks V!
LikeLike
It seems like there’s going to be be an inch or two of snow again tomorrow and the cold temperatures are returning for the days ahead, but it does not sound like it’s going to snow big dogs here in NYC like in other parts of the country. It seems like just a Roxy or two is heading here.
Once you’ve completed recovering your muscle will return, but reminder: RECOVER first!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s usually 5-10 degrees warmer in Phila than NYC, so maybe that’s why, but this winter has not been bothering me – it could also be lingering Stockholm Syndrome from last year’s endless snowscape – we’ve only had a few inches of snow this year, so I don’t feel like Nature is actively trying to kill me. Hang in there!
LikeLike
Maybe some of your warmer weather has creeped over to NYC? Right now it’s sunny, 36 and remarkably welcome when considering that on Monday when I woke the heat was out in my building. When I climbed out of bed into the cruelty I felt like I had entered my freezer. How I wished at the moment to be a cool cat named Oscar clad in the finest fur fashion.
Like
As I get older, more formidable temperatures get harder for me to deal with. I went to high school in Washington State, where the temperatures would occasionally fall below the freezing level. These days, my body prefers to operate in temperatures between 60-85 degrees F. This winter has been a little chillier than normal, but nothing like what you folks are experiencing.
Why is there a tip jar at your Laundromat? I’m guessing there’s some sort of service performed that isn’t performed at the places I’ve been to. Do you give out change to the dude handing out dryer sheets?
And good for you for keeping up with your exercise routine despite the weather. It makes me feel bad for turning away from the gym last night because I forgot my iPod.
LikeLike
Hormonally, Smak, I’m all over the place so (big secret revealed) sometimes when it’s as cold as five, my personal thermostat is so enraged, I feel better hatless and gloveless. But I’m with you: I love it when the temperature is between 60 and 85, but with low humidity.
The tip jar is for customers who drop off. Judging from all the pennies filling that jar, there’s a lot of cheapskates dropping off.
Hey, if I didn’t keep up the exercise routine, I could regain those seven bananas and a bowling ball that took me six momths to unload last year by the weekend. Middle age is evil that way.
LikeLike
“Middle age is evil that way.”
Oh, I very much disagree. Middle age is the great leveler.
This is the thing the fat kids know: metabolism is a bitch, and you’ve gotta watch what you eat. The skinny kid doesn’t discover this until middle-age, and the lesson is made even more painful.
I may have mentioned this before, but I was literally the fattest kid in my high school. At my 20-year-reunion, I was around the 50% percentile.
So, to your metabolism I say, “Ha ha! Who’s fat NOW?”
Well, it’s still me and not you, but at least you have an idea of the struggle.
LikeLike
Referring to middle age as “the great leveler” works for me, Smak, but I also think that genetics and lifestyle play a part. Neither of my parents were ever overweight and I was a very active kid. Losing the weight I gained a few years ago was a result of riding the spin bike, practicing portion control, eating organic and cutting back on alcohol. It took a concentrated effort to accomplish my goal, but now healthier habits are my new normal. It is true, one’s metabolism does slow down over age 50. When I realized that was a part of my weight gain problem, that was a wake-up call for me to make some drastic changes.
LikeLike
Lame: This February you experienced brass monkey weather.
LikeLike
We sure did big-time, CaL!
LikeLike
Reggie and I are ready for spring! When I took him for his morning walk last Friday the wind chill was -17. No wonder he’s gained weight this winter. 😉 (2 pounds, the vet told me.)
LikeLike
Wow, that’s cold! Good thing the Reginator has his sweater! I’m sure that not being to chase balls and squirrels with his usual fervor is why he’s packed on a few extra pounds. Like all of us out here, your handsome hound sounds very ready for spring.
LikeLike
I’m soooo done with this winter. I love the tasty mush. Maple syrup is my favorite on it.
LikeLike
This is serious tasty mush weather, but I also enjoy eating tasty mush in July, too.
LikeLike
With that mush and that tea I think you can get through anything – and your sense of humor sure does help as well – it’s helping me! Love your blog!
LikeLike
Thanks. I’m so fortified I could probably walk through plutonium naked.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL!!!
LikeLike
I cannot feel your pain, I can feel compassionate and offer you pity but cannot feel your pain. I hate winter, I hate winter in Dallas so you might imagine what I think of it elsewhere.
It snowed here and stayed for a brief minute, can you even imagine what I thought?
LikeLike
I think you thought it sucked, but possibly in infinitely more colorful language, Val. Just the idea that it’s snowing anywhere in the south sounds like the fickle middle finger of fate to me.
LikeLike
Well yesssssssssssssssssssssssss, Does that cover it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
It snowed here Friday afternoon and into about 3pm Saturday. Not a huge amount, but enough to drag the grandkids around on a sled behind the 4 wheeler (in true redneck fashion–plenty of camo). March is coming in like a rhino, hopefully it will leave like a peacock.
LikeLike
Love the image of you dragging your grandkids in a sled behind a 4 wheeler, Russell! It’s snowing once again over here. Apparently New York City didn’t get the memo that snow-packed February is over. It’s snowed so much this winter we might not see the end of it until April.
LikeLike
Perhaps March will bring you some warmth.
LikeLike
That hasn’t happened yet on the first or the second and snow is in the forecast for the third and the fifth. Maybe warmth will happen starting next week.
LikeLike