As we have done every year since I started writing Lame Adventures in 2010, Milton and I have watched the Big Apple’s Gay Pride parade from the sidelines. We watch it from the sidelines because we have not been tagged to serve as the grand marshals. What a shock! This year we arrived armed with two cameras, three camera batteries, and his iPhone. By the time the event ended, approximately five hours after it began, we had three dead batteries and one bar of iPhone power. We shot over 2000 pictures and missed so many perfect moments due to our digital cameras’ slow shutter speeds. We now have a whole new appreciation for sports photographers. My fellow lesbian New Yorker and blogger-bud Natasia over at Hot Femme (who covered the Dyke March on her site) admires our fortitude. She is unaware that to cap off the event, I broiled my formerly Casper-white left arm.
Ow.
Enough of my blathering, these pictures will tell the story of Gay Pride 2012 here in Gotham City.
Beautiful weather and blue sky on lower Fifth Avenue in Green Village.
Crowd waiting patiently for parade. Line in street was painted lavender.
Two nice guys that were next to us that were photographed endlessly prompting Milton to observe, “They know how to work it.”
First yike on bike for all you types that love your girls in uniform? The parade is about to start.
The parade is starting and the crowd is screaming.
The usual start – the yikes on bikes!
Lone rider.
Caped crusader.
Strutting his stuff.
Mr. Pansy is here wearing a live bird on his head.
Heritage of Pride marchers.
Rainbow balloons.
Grand Marshal Cyndi Lauper. You rock Cyndi!
NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg, looking like he’d rather be elsewhere.
Maybe she’s why Bloomberg is scowling?
I suppose this sign is targeting Milton and me.
On second thought …
Flaunting her Pride!
Diet Coke float boys dancing.
Lady Liberty flies in with the Delta Airlines marchers.
Big cheers for LGBT hero Governor Andrew Cuomo marching with his partner Sandra Lee.
We love our governor!
30 years together and finally allowed to marry thanks to Governor Cuomo.
Pretty boy.
Butch and Femme lesbians.
Star Trek star, gay activist and 75-year-old Boy Scout George Takei.
Hollaback girls.
Dignity marchers.
Raising the rainbow flag.
LGBT Catholics.
NAACP marchers.
Smiling gladiators.
Be yourself in blue chiffon.
Pride chapeau.
Here comes the fuzz.
Faces in the crowd.
Proud NYPD marchers.
Hot yikes on bike, but ladies you’re way behind the pack! Maybe they planned it that way?
Firetruck Pride!
LGBT firefighters marching.
The King and I all-in-one package.
Marching Fido Pride.
Girl Pride.
Pumped!
Flaming Saddles Saloon float blasting “Thank God I’m a Country Boy”.
Tattooed chick.
Hipster hat boy and friend.
News to Milton and me.
“I like that idea … I think.”
Soft focus hot chick.
Striking a pose.
Obama 2012 contingency — yes, we can again (we hope)!
Obama marchers chanting, “Four more years!” Not adding to chant, “Or else we’re screwed!”
Pride and joy boy.
Waving flag in crowd. Milton said, “Thank God we’re not by them.”
Exuberant girl ignores me and high fives Milton. He asks, “What the hell was that for?”
Mercy for all animals, not just gay ones.
Seriously WTF?
Thank you for posing for us Naked Cowgirl and my number is 1-800-LUNATIC.
Here comes the Mr. Natural guys!
I know a good waxer … just sayin’.
Whole Paycheck Pride.
Food float!
Rainbow legs.
Drummer girls.
Jock strap Pride.
Pouting Pride, or maybe the crummy photographer just missed her smiling?
Mastercard happy guy.
Babelicious girl with flag.
Good idea — get rid of DOMA!
Gay dads with their kids.
Log Cabin Republicans — all five of them (the rest read the memo).
Sewing party hat marcher.
Oooooo!
Fairy tale fellas.
Even Snow White and the Wicked Queen showed up!
Letting it all hang out.
Stilted Pride.
Pride is the time and place to wear your pink hair!
Or your pink short shorts.
Pink short shorts with rearview message.
A nurse like no other.
For anyone that forgot his or her bath salts this marcher’s prepared.
Congratulations!
“Let me climb up here for a better view.”
This chap is a wizard with a baton.
Swinging her necklaces.
Cheer leading squad.
Marching band cymbal player, also a good excuse to wear white gloves.
Happy marchers.
Feathered friends.
In case anyone was wondering, there was confetti.
Evita rolls into Pride, but without Ricky Martin.
Feeling confident.
Top hat and blue feathered boa, dressed for Pride success.
Yes, those are umbrella skirts.
“Do you want a piece of this?” Ask Milton.
Spreading his wings.
Anyone need an Adonis? They’re right here!
Gold lame ensemble (note: not wash n’ wear).
Naughty shameless flirts – and this float went by much too fast! Our interest was purely historical (hysterical?).
Dry clean only.
It’s not on a chain!
Ah, a friend of Dorothy’s!
Talented Asian drummer boys.
Frisking concerns.
In case anyone at home is wondering if she’s a lesbian and why she’s marching.
Miss, you on the right, is your name Deborah Harry?
Flaunt those blue lips and Mondrian influence.
Who is this masked man?
Impressive plumage requiring significant doorway ducking.
Winged creature but he did stay grounded.
Was this a do-it-yourself ensemble?
The Roadrunner look works well on this bloke.
Altogether say, “Ahhhhhhhhhhh!”
The very entertaining Flaggots are here!
He caught it! (But it surely would have poked my eye out.)
Flaggots are gender inclusive!
Here she comes, Miss Texas!
Not the type of frock or hat one would wear around the house.
Sunshine on heels.
Blue swirl.
Princess Leia’s hair-do lives on right here at Pride!
Mr. Mermaid or may we call you Neptune?
Gay Peruvians take their float very seriously.
Pants-less feathered pride, a CEO’s wish.
Bill de Blasio marching for votes.
Anti-fracking marcher’s poignant message.
New York Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney.
The Alien.
New York District Attorney Cyrus Vance, Jr. getting his groove on with the missus, Peggy McDonnell.
If you guys insist.
Who needs vanity plates?
To each her own.
Little sleepyhead with Mom. Milton and I know how you feel kid.
Crown available at your local florist’s.
Bear Pride!
Alright, smile for the camera!
Cycling for Pride to be followed with pounding water for Pride and scarfing a sandwich for Pride.
Is that a feather duster she’s wielding? Hm, there are a lot of feathers flying.
No longer closeted Segway rider.
Actual live singing and this guy was great!
Charlie the Matchmaker!
Are these the latest boy band heart throbs? Think again.
Whoever he is, he’s here!
“I gotta go, I can’t hold it. Sorry!”
Hello New York City!
Got sunglasses?
Lambda marchers.
Peacocks on parade.
Skipping a.k.a. how to twist an ankle where I come from.
She does not need to carry her flag on some stinking pole.
Google courts the LGBT crowd.
Crowd member (not Milton or me) pummeling Google Girl with questions.
Gay guy and gal pals.
Running for Pride to flaunt fitness.
Channeling Rock Hudson.
Pride-wear from the circus.
Fitness is no joke with these guys.
Milton and I could do this … in our dreams.
Milton’s shoelace voluntarily untied just watching those guys.
“C’mon, Milton, tie that shoelace!”
“Leave Milton alone, he tied it!”
Dalton school marchers.
Manhattan borough president Christine Quinn and possibly the first lesbian to be mayor of New York City. Go Chris!
Putting her best black boot forward.
Flirt with me – try black boot girl.
Suddenly, I’m in the mood to hear Spanish guitar.
Look, a quartet of matadors!
Never the matador, always the bull.
Olé!
In the event of a rainbow stripe shortage, here’s the reason.
Translatinas float (yes, we can read, too).
Macy’s shilling for shoppers in the name of Pride.
Multi-tasker – both photographer and marcher.
Merry Zip Car studs.
From Logo’s A-list: New York – Ryan Nikulas & Rodiney Santiago. Who knew? We didn’t.
Roman Empire boys.
We’ll keep that in mind.
Pretty young people.
Fabulous showgirls!
You came to the right parade fella.
At least they’re not nerds.
Definitely a geek.
Geek taking a bow.
Gay puppet Pride.
In case anyone missed seeing the 9,843 earlier rainbow flags, here are two more.
LGBT Bikram yoga lovers.
LGBT Russians!
Lez Factor (not related to Max Factor) marching.
Israeli guys marching.
She brings offerings but it’s not food so we pass.
Go girls.
Go Magazine float.
Occupy Wall Street marcher with Madonna issue (must prefer Lady Gaga).
Pride in a rainbow gown.
LGBT Mormons.
Pole dancer making it look uncomfortable; I’ll take the stairs.
Chief.
Mr. Pansy at the end returning to his own planet until we reconvene in 2013.
Lame Adventures 
Holy man! That is the longest parade ever! The Macy’s Parade isn’t that long!
I gotta ask: What’s the difference between the very derogatory name dyke and a yike?
Love the dude with the bird on his head and the Russian in high heels!
Looks like a blast!
LikeLike
Yike is an expression that only lives in Lame Adventures-land. The D-word is more political especially when a straight person says it to a lesbian. Tas and I say it to each other all the time since we are it and we own it. That parade was looooooooooooooooooong. I felt it in every joint and bone in my body plus my arm is still on fire. I feel like Milton and I should get combat pay.
LikeLike
Its my dream the one day a yike (?) will ask me to ride on her bike for pride. Great pics! I wish I hadn’t missed the parade!
LikeLike
There’s always next year Tas. Maybe you can cover it and Milton and I can be like sane people that watch it for and hour or two and then take off. I think I’m going to be exhausted for the rest of the week from this one post!
LikeLike
I think I’m a yike without a bike, but I was born this way. I’d be happy to give anyone a ride to Malibu, though, in my freeway cruiser. Man that was was one long-ass parade. Your pictures were good, your stamina amazing.
LikeLike
Thanks TTT, but by next week I’ll probably be writing a post about what life is like in a full body cast as a result from OD-ing on Pride — something I always though I had in short supply.
LikeLike
Thanks for such comprehensive and fun reportage! I love a virtual parade!
LikeLike
Considering how exhausted I feel from having covered it I now kinda wish I had seen it virtually, too!
LikeLike
Excellent photos. NY Pride weekend really is the best thing ever.
LikeLike
It had some colorful moments but the best Pride ever was last year’s celebration.
LikeLike
Thanks for the parade wrap up. Hope your sunburn heals and not just peels. Everyone looked FAULOUS! Thanks for the link to Satueday’s march. I missed that one too. So much for conformity in the burns of Jersey, I guess.
LikeLike
That was meant to read ‘burbs of Jersey. But had I been out sans sunscreen the former would have been apropos.
LikeLike
F-ing iPhones. FABULOUS of course was what I tries to convey. Gonna lose my membership in HRC of this keeps up.
LikeLike
IF this keeps up. Jesus I need a drink. It could only help my typing on this frigging device.
LikeLike
Is it one of those kinds of days Mike? I’m sure the HRC will give you a plaque just for your loyalty to LA alone.
LikeLike
Or maybe just another rainbow for the Kia Soul. Wife and daughter drive that one. There’s a purple Tinkerbell on the ass-end of the car. If that’s not gay enough ! (Said with much love)
LikeLike
Wow, Mike, your car’s flaming!
LikeLike
That’s not the half of it. She officially became a HS senior last week and she and her poss-ette painted it to match their senior class theme “señors”. It looks like a flaming Mexican restaurant delivery car. Complete with mustache above front grill. But she’s having fun.
LikeLike
What your daughter did to your car is the sort of thing that would have prompted my dad to ask, “Did I pay for that?”
LikeLike
Wow, that IS a lot of photos. Gotta love that there were so few Log Cabin Republicans! Looks like a wonderful day–and one hell of a burn you got! You know they make this stuff called sun screen? LOL
Hugs,
Kathy
LikeLike
Milton and I drank the Kool-aid and lost our minds, that’s for sure. That burning smell around me is definitely my arm. Tas did an Internet search and discovered that I should spray it with iced tea so that will replace my usual fragrance, Deet. My burn makes me miss the good old days of Pride 2011 when the lamest aspect of that parade was me stepping into a garbage soup puddle on our way there. Good to hear from you K! I hope your w-block is starting to clear.
LikeLike
All things considered, from the beginning of the parade to the publishing of this post, how long have you been working on it LA? the captions alone must’ve taken some time!
Great photos by the way – I feel like I was there with you! 😀
LikeLike
Glad you enjoyed the photos Tom. I invested about 30 hours of my life in this single post; Milton about 12. We probably have another 1800+ photos that we spared the LA readership but I’m trying to cut a deal with the Federal government over here to see if they’re looking for new methods of torture. I call the method SRC — Sifting, Resizing and Captioning. When I finished this post, I was so delirious I would have been willing to claim responsibility for Jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance.
LikeLike
Wow. Just Wow. Cuz I staffed the booth at the Boise Pride a week ago and I thought that crowd of a thousand was huge! We have a parade and then they march to the park for the festival. I love that event. Nicest people and a ton of them want to quit smoking so we have a lot of great conversations. I always marvel at the queens who can navigate the grass in their heels. Fantastic job, LA! Great commentary, too.
LikeLike
Gee, SDS, thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed this effort-filled post. Milton and I cover Pride every year, but this year we went picture-taking insane. Three days later and I’m still in recovery. The queens, the Flaggots, the Wall Street Boot Camp boys and the pole dancer are the marchers that always impress me the most. P.S. Milton and I are life-long non-smokers.
LikeLike
Great photos Lame … but the captions are even better. Thanks for the chuckle …. (Sorry I been away, but trying to catch up – Satire today at my place. 😉 )
LikeLike
Thanks Frank! I wrote the captions as I was editing. Hey, I’ve been away, too between vacationing, computer problems and recovering from Pride. You’ll hear from me over at your site soon. I have soooooooooooooo much catching up to do!
LikeLike
Glad you jointly feel the pain.
LikeLike
Is that a finda/sorta pun? Aside from my charred skin, I’m really feeling pain in my joints, too.
LikeLike
http://tinyurl.com/2lmyu3
LikeLike
Excellent Frank!
LikeLike
Love the photos. Excellent captions! What fun!
LikeLike
Thanks!
LikeLike
how did I miss this colorful gem? Some real hotties strutting their stuff…
LikeLike
We went out of our minds this year. 2012 might be the last year we go gay pride insane. We shot over 2000 pictures. Glad you enjoyed it!
LikeLike