This is the right place for that idea.
Even though late at night and early in the morning, I have a cough that sounds like a death rattle and it currently feels like a colony of squirrels are performing the Gangnam Style dance inside my left knee, I am sticking around. Now that it is October, and the weather in Gotham City is transitioning into real deal fall feel, I am savoring the final moments of tee shirt season as well as the magic hour clouds that almost appear to glow.
Magic hour cloud.
After I photographed this cloud above my Upper West Side neighborhood block, I turned my attention to the tree with the two bags tangled in its branches.
Tree with distinction of bagging today.
Same tree with hanging bags in March.
Last spring – halcyon days of tree bagging.
I can report with authority that one of the bags, the one in white plastic declaring, “thank you” — with an original purpose that was probably used in transporting a dinner delivery, entered the ether in September. Together, lets pause and remember our departed tree bag-friend.
On that same September day in early fall, the Fairway grocery bag was continuing to hold its own.
Drunk with tree bagging power. “This tree is all mine!”
Therefore, it won Survivor: Tree Bagging.
Now, that it is October, it appears that after seven months of hang-time in that tree, nature is finally taking its toll on the surviving bag.
How the situation looked in September.
How things look in October.
It seems very possible that a drenching rainstorm coupled with the power of wicked wind, and this once hardy plastic bag that has been nestled in those branches since spring will be making its final exit. Seasons change, leaves fall, and bags eventually disintegrate. There you have it, the circle of tree-bag-life Lame Adventures-style. This actually saddens me.
I have a tremendous amount of respect and admiration for this grocery store bag’s achievement. The average bag likely ends up in a landfill within a week. This bag not only survived its initial purpose, when it was used to carry groceries, but it survived the trash collector and made its escape into a tree, where it has resided since March. It’s tackled seven months of outdoor elements. That’s so remarkable. What tenacity! In bag-years, this bag is probably 90-years-old. If a plastic bag could run for public office, this one would have made a formidable candidate. Considering all that this heroic bag has seen from its perch, it might have been the one plastic grocery bag that could have served on the Supreme Court. Alas, we’ll never know. One can only wonder what this bag might say if it could talk, much less think.
“I will outlive you, bitch.”
Lame Adventures 
You and me both! Hahaha! A survivor it is….
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This bag is in a league of its own.
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Oh, whip me in the wind baby! Okay maybe not… 😀
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Don’t egg Mike G on.
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Reminds me of the lyrics from Ian Dury and The Blockheads’ one major track: Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick.
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I remember that song. What brought him to mind again?
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Susie’s whip me comment.
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Ah! Now you’re taunting her!
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Are you sure it’s not already serving on this nation’s highest court…possibly doubling as the carrier of Antonin’s Italian-style tuna hero? You know the one, with balsamic instead of mayo?
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Maybe that’s what it did in an earlier incarnation before it blew itself all the way from DC into that tree. Once can only imagine what a storied life it has lived.
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I’m guessing that you’re going to bag any future attempts to blog about this quintessentially urban tree decoration phenomenon. If you do, I promise to not bring up my aversion to Satan’s Spunk again.
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Isn’t that your pet name for mayonnaise?
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Yes, but I shan’t mention it again if you promise to lay to rest your near legendary analysis (within the blogosphere) of tree bagging.
BTW, with today’s topic header, I really had thought the problem in your knee had spread to your vital organs. Happy to know it was the plastic bag in the tree rather than the old bag in……..
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The old bag in what, the office that doubles as a tomb?
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Or spent most of the summer sweltering in her antediluvian garret.
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I prefer to think of it as a sauna in the bowels of hell.
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I was wondering about that sauna. Is it co-Ed and how much do you tip the towel imp?
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It’s literally been single sex. I tip myself in Poland Spring, or should I say I dip myself?
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I wish I had artistic talent. I would create a series of “towel imp” tshirts and retire off the royalties.
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Maybe you and (not) Under Ling (anymore) can join forces.
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Have her call me on the Batphone, Alfred.
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I will — when she exits the Lincoln Sitting Room.
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Man, that bag is a trooper. I feel like it should be preserved for all eternity as the Little Bag That Could. And I love that caption, “I will outlive you, bitch.”
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Keep this under your cat, Weebs, but that bag really can talk — and it dared me to quote it.
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hahaha…this should win some type of Most Original Blog Post idea EVER award. Maybe you can stand watch and catch the bag when it falls.
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I have pissed away so much of my life watching that bag (and back in the day when it was two bags) I half expect it to blow into my face when it untangles.
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And I thought this post was going to be about your purse wearing out.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me have a purse? Shirley, you jest, Maggie.
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You know and I thought that too b/c don’t you have like a messenger bag?
And don’t call me Shirley. Roger?
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I have a satchel that doubles as a flak-magnet with select tattooed friends.
Who’s Roger, Shirley, and does Maggie know?
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I bet there’s bags all over New York, the world even, whose stories are never told. I am sure Grocery Bag is grateful.
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This Grocery Bag definitely deserves Hall of Grocery Bag Fame status, but you do raise a wise point about its grocery bag brethren throughout the globe.
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I heard that Toledo has put a bid in to be the home of the Plastic Bag Hall of Fame but the plastic bag industry is worried that Ohio is becoming saturated with Halls of Fame (see Football, Hall of Fame in Canton and Rock n Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland). I also believe Minot, ND, has asked to be considered. There a number of empty ICBM silos that might serve as locations.
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There are a number of ICBM silos on sale on Google, but I’m not sure if any are located on Minot, but surely, hall of fame grocery bags would be quite the tourist attraction. You’ve been a spewing fountain of ideas today. How many Red Bulls did you pound?
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One 24 oz coffee at 8 am and one 20 oz Diet Pepsi at 2 pm. Never had a Red Bull in my life.
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And 8 minutes of straight peeing at 2:05 pm.
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I remember these bags well, LA. An Olympic sport, I think we discussed. But, in those two photos of the tree you posted, I couldn’t for the life of me see the bag anywhere! I’ve been thinking I see the bag, and I realise it’s a cloud, or a window, or another leaf… just not the bag! I thought I was playing one of those Where’s Wally? games when it struck me. The Olympic sport isn’t getting the bags into the trees… it’s spotting them when they are there! Bag Spotting… But yes, I agree, the life of that bag has been remarkable!
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Look for the speck of orange Tom, but you are right, it is hard to see probably due to being in the latter stages of bag decomposition.
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I can see it in the final picture, but not in the two previous ones. I’ve actually zoomed in quite close and checked out that way as well, and couldn’t see anything… although I thought I saw someone looking out of one of the windows in the second picture. I now need to rest my eyes as I feel like I’ve been doing a three-thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle of a forest! At least it won’t be there for much longer!
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Your frustration has compelled me to look back at the pictures. You’re not blind, but now it’s possible that you’ve shredded some of your precious sanity when you were looking at the wider shots of that tree — the first one taken from across the street and the last two. It’s impossible to see the bags in any of those shots.
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Thanks for manning up on this Tom. I was feeling like a bystander from The Emperor’s New Clothes. I couldn’t find it either. I merely chalked it up to the fact that I need a new prescription for the glasses and neither he iPhone nor the iPad get the photos sufficiently big enough. And thank you LA woman for admitting that they were index table to you too.
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Undectable. Latest iPhuckup of the day.
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Undetectable.
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I just figured that “index table” was a Kardashian way of saying “undetectable”.
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Locating what remains of the bag with my naked eye is a challenge, but then zooming in on it to take a shot has been a bit demanding since I kept losing site of it. Of course, that adds to the Lame Adventures aspect of tree bagging. It’s one of those classic “who in their right mind gives a crap about this” type of pursuits.
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LA, it doesn’t matter what it’s about… when it’s interesting, it’s interesting!
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I take it that the shenanigans over here rate the Aquatom Seal of Approval.
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Of course!
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I’ve been meaning to tell you I like your new gravatar.
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Oh, thank you very much!
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It’s very Here Comes the Sun.
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Yes, I call it ‘Sunburst’… just as winter’s coming on!
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Index table… howl!!!
They are there though, Mike…
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Phew! I’m sure they’re there somewhere though!
By the way, my precious sanity was shattered years ago… if you hadn’t had said anything LA, I’d have been back day and night trying to find just a glimpse of the bag!
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When I saw the title of your post in my inbox, I thought maybe your satchel was near death. But, gosh, I had forgotten about THESE bags! May they rest in peace–the one already gone and the one soon to follow.
Happy weekend, my friend. May the sponge be with you!
Hugs,
Kathy
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Hm, did you really forget about those bags, or did you regret not being able to convert them into one of your clever-Kathy arts and crafts projects such as how we can turn these bags into a bowling alley in 73 easy to follow steps?
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That bag is a star, You are right. I must look out for its relatives over here, Lame…
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The ones on your side of the pond, Kate, will probably have a much more sophisticated pedigree than what’s hanging in the trees over here. You’ll probably find one with some connection to English nobility. What we have here probably carried Mr. Ed’s oats.
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I feel a bag photo shoot coming on.
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Yes, Kate, go for it!
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we crusty old bags are hard to get rid of… we just hang around forever
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That is a spot on observation Audra.
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We don’t see bags in trees very often but when I do, I think of you. 🙂
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I feel so flattered, Wendy, and worth my weight in dried leaves.
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how are the sneakers doing?
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Whoa Nellie … This post game me an idea. Bags of the same size from different stores need to be hung …. and examined over time … after all, the best survivor could use to their marketing advantage. Dang – NYC is the home of marketeers, and they haven’t thought of that one!
Meanwhile, hope you get feeling better, and thanks for inspiring me to find this.
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Squirrels dancing Gangnam Style, what will “they” think of next? … I don’t want to know. Thanks for sharing Frank!
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And your post sparked the thought for me to search.
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I feel flattered that my site compels an educated and thoughtful guy like you to do wacky searches, Frank!
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Oh my … nothing like flattery!
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It rates right up there with alcohol and chocolate — not into flowers over here. I prefer things I can put in my mouth. This is the exact type of comment that would set off my wingman, Mike G, off — if his attention was not completely focused on college football. Are you tuned in? Ohio State’s playing right now.
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Wingman is multitasking. SC up over UGA 21-0 at half. My tuition dollars at work!
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Truly money well spent.
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New multimillion dollar jumbo torn and tailgate facility. SEC football schools have their priorities straight.
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Jumbotron.
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Securities and Exchange schools? Okay, I am yanking you here, so we don’t support our own conference?
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Here’s one for your wingman. I’m in Ohio … lived here all but the first 3 months of my life … and NOPE – nada to being a Buckeye fan. Actually, many Cincinnatians are anti-Buckeye. Therefore, nope … not watching … but am watching U Cincinnati.
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Go Bearcats!!!
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🙂
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Up now 30-14 … and I see the SorryEyes are losing!
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Do I dae ask why many Cincinnatians are anti-Buckeye?
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1960-61 and 1961-62 NCAA Basketball Championship games.
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Oscar va. Lucas and Havlicek.
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My niece is now going to Gonzaga. Do we like them when March Madness comes around next year? I can’t believe I’ll actually have to follow that now.
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LOL. I’ll explain the Cincinnati-OSU thing in a separate string.
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Your audience is tuned in.
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I will let u know in February.
Sent from my iPhone
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Gracias.
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I was awkwardly a little overwhelmed (can you be a “little overwhelmed?”) with emotion for these bags while reading this. You also reminded me that seasons exist on the East Coast. I envy you that, and I envy the bag that gets to hang in a tree and enjoy them all year.
Also, “tree bagging” made me think of “tea bagging,” which made me snicker because balls are funny.
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Who woulda thunk it that you’re feeling sentimental over bags hanging in trees, Hannah? My pal, Milton, originated the term “tree bagging” so you now know where his head’s at.
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UC beat OSU in the NCAA finals two years in a row. After that, OSU avoid UC like the plague for decade. Of course constantly reminding everyone that they are the biggest, the best, blah blah blah. Well, the UC President essentially dismantled the basketball program. Meanwhile, OSU was loaded – guess who wanted to play?
Meanwhile, a few years ago their football game was undefeated late in the season. We were at a UC game that night, and the OSU (who lost) was announced, … and the crowd goes wild … and my wife look confused as she didn’t know the angst many.
SO, there you go … why many Bearcats hate the Buckeyes based on something that happened 50+ years ago.
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Is this the sort of knowledge that younger generations of Bearcat fans do not know, but they just inherited hating the Buckeyes gene from their elders? When I was a kid growing up in SF in the 60s I loathed the LA Dodgers, not realizing the significance both teams had in Brooklyn and Manhattan before they moved to the East Coast.
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I imagine that the youngsters don’t really know the whole story. Great point with the west coast analogy.
Meanwhile, UC has some interesting football rivalries. Tonight, UC-Miami (Ohio) are continuing the longest non-league rivalry in the country … 115th meeting (or so). … Soon, a 2-hr drive downriver to Louisville for the battle for the Keg of Nails. (UL rivalry is also in basketball) …. b-ball also with Xavier as the two schools are 3.5 miles apart.
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What’s the the battle for the Keg of Nails and why would anyone want to win that?
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It’s the annual “trophy” to the winner … like the Old Oaken Bucket .. .or the Golden Spittoon … of Paul Bunyan’s Axe … and many more rivalry trophies.
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Okay, I get it now … But I think a keg of beer would be more welcome.
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LOL … then again … their is Keggie, the Darmouth mascot.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NCAA_college_football_rivalry_games
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I looked at the list. Did you see the Bill Walsh Legacy Game is dead last and played by Stanford opposite San Jose State. Walsh coached Stanford before coaching the Niners around 1978 or 1979. How could this game have originated in 1900?
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Here’s the footnote: San Jose State and Stanford first played the series in 1900. After an attempt to name the series the Silicon Valley Challenge, it was named the Bill Walsh Legacy Game in 2007.
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That’s a much better name. I liked Bill a lot. He was a legendary coach and I felt sad when he bought his rainbow.
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A good guy … and something most people don’t know … his West Coast offense started here … in Cincinnati … when coached the offense.
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You’re right! He was on the coaching staff with the Bengals! I forgot about that.
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Yep … and that was the beginning of the WC offense. Paul Brown retired and gave the Sr. assistant the head job (which was common in those days) … Walsh moved on, and the rest is history.
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Great history for the 49ers.
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BTW … the next Monday Morning Entertainment will explain this conversation. 😉
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Oh joy … Can’t wait to read how that turns out.
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Midwest football is so cute.
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You’re such a girl.
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So is Midwest football these days. Except my beloved Golden Domers.
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Not sure if that was a slap or a smirk. 😉
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It’s the annual “trophy” to the winner … like the Old Oaken Bucket .. .or the Golden Spittoon … of Paul Bunyan’s Axe … and many more rivalry trophies. …. UC-Miami (tonight) is for the Victory Bell.
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I could never keep up with all these door prizes.
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That’s why there’s a list!
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Maybe the bag was trying to start a protest movement against all of the canvas bags putting plastic bags out of business, a bag form of Occupy Wallstreet, but in a tree.
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That’s a whole other way of at looking at tree bagging! A very Lame Adventures POV! Thanks for sharing that excellent idea! (And tell Bill he owes me an email — when he gets off his surf board.)
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Who’s Bill?
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Clearly, I have you confused with someone else. I spend too much time studying tree bagging.
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That’s ok. I’ve spent many hours studying the migrating habits of bags, and it can make the rest of life confusing.
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Wanna be my life coach?
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I love your last line! I like your rendition of “the circle of tree-bag-life Lame Adventures-style” I don’t have that down in SoCal. The palm trees are up too high.
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Yeah, that’s a bag with attitude alright. Nice to know that your palm trees do not work double duty as trash receptacles.
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Tree-Bagging! Ha! I was on the bag’s side until that last panel; that kind of rudeness is unnecessary.
I have a somewhat similar phenomenon where I live. A single plastic bag is caught in a difficult-to-access tree branch, and is ever-so-slowly disintegrating. I don’t know how long it’s been there (I’d guess about six months, but I’m unsure), but I end up walking past it once or twice a week with my boys, the oldest of whom NEVER fails to point it out.
Our county just did away with plastic bags, however, so in a dozen years or so, when that plastic bag finally is gone, it will be the last of its kind.
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I anticipate that New York will eventually follow San Luis Obispo’s (isn’t that where you live?) lead. I don’t recall noticing bags in trees when I was a kid, but back then, bags were primarily paper. When I was a youngster in the sixties, I used to go on walks on Sundays with my dad. Someone had written “fuck” in wet cement and I remember I said to him, “Dad look — fuck!” I was about seven. He handled it well. He said, “Don’t tell your mother.” I heeded his advice, but I always looked for that word when we walked that path.
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V,
I’m late to the party, here, but I as I read your post, I heard Elton John’s voice singing “The Circle of Life.” Maybe that tree is a sort of Pride Rock. And, like others, when I read your title, I thought your beloved satchel was nearing the end of its days. Glad that isn’t the case.
Cathy
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Hey Cathy, although my head is hole-riddled, at this moment I still recall that you and Peter were recently in P-town. You compelled me to Google Pride Rock. Yes, that tree could be considered a plastic bag refuge! That suggestion fits in perfectly with the Lame Adventures outlook.
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Perhaps you should rescue said bag and provide it a home. You could use it for special items or special occasions so it doesn’t get thrown away.
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Since I do not own a ladder nor do I possess Elastigirl’s reach I will let nature take its course, but I do appreciate your suggestion that I rescue this bag that has made so many guest appearances on this site since spring. What a bag.
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What a bag. Now that’s a comment I’ve heard more than a few times as I leave a room…but it the last word usually has one more syllable
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I’m stumped. Am I supposed to guess it’s something like douche?
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Apparently you weren’t stumped for long.
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I don’t think of you as a douche, though. I think of you as iPhucked.
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I’d say that captures the essential iMe.
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iKnow.
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Hey, I identify with that death rattle cough. Just getting over Pneumonia, and been watching a ton of reality T.V. It occurs to me that watching a plastic bag in a tree would have been a much better use of my time. Good to know!
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Whoa! So sorry to hear that the stuffing’s been so knocked out of you! Thank you for finding the energy to comment. Had I know of your condition, I would have shot a video just for you. Glad to hear that you’re recovering.
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Nature is so fascinating.
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Truly. How did Disney fail to film this back in the day?
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Adventures On Polyethylene Island. Chapter II: Migration and Tree Mating
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Now that’s a catchy title!
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You are so freaking funny sometimes. The tenacity that YOU have keeping up with that bag, V is quite admirable as well. Hope your cough gets better — I had that for a while and it’s not for sissies. (sorry I’m late to your party).
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The cough is how I bookend my day. It’s not a problem cough (I self diagnosed). When I was going to check out that bag this evening a rat darted out across the sidewalk. That was quite a distraction.
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I think you’re a great “old bag” promoter. You’d make the ideal campaign manager for Old Bags who run for office. Personally, I’d like to see an Old Bag in the White House instead of a Wrinkled Scrotum. Maybe 2016 will be the year.
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You might get your wish Russell. She might go for it again and it’s possible that my governor will toss his hat in the ring, too, but 2016 is still a long ways away. Let’s get through November 6th first.
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i read a book about garbage once. seriously. and the book referred to plastic bags as “satin’s resin” – uh huh. i have never looked at plastic bags the same way again. and “survivor: tree bagging.” dear gawd, you funny, woman. xo, sm
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Are you sure it wasn’t Satan’s resin?
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The bags in that tree have made several appearances in LA this year. Probably several too many. The surviving bag might be planning to sue me for an endorsement fee.
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loooollll.
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