In July my friend and fellow blogger up in Montreal, Le Clown, published a post that resonated with me that he magnificently titled, “FTW LOL [Insert Emoticon]”.
Dad Le Clown going incognito wearing his daughter, Tiny Geek, as a fashion accessory. Paper glasses optional.
For anyone that’s just emerged from a twenty-year hiatus trapped near the earth’s core that may be unfamiliar with Internet slang, FTW can mean For The Win or Fuck The World or Free The Whales or What The Fuck backwards. LOL means Laughing Out Loud or Lots Of Laughs or Lots Of Love or Lick Oggleby’s Lederhosen (to an imbecile). Knowing Le Clown as well as I do, I don’t think his post’s title was shorthand for “For The Win Lots Of Love [Insert Emoticon]”.
Le Clown trying to sleep off the horror of Internet slang.
His post was a concise and witty rant about foregoing emoticons and simply owning what it is that one is trying to communicate.
Le Clown’s back yard. The horror of lawn mowing.
If you’re saying, “Fuck The World”, it’s ridiculous to add “Laugh Out Loud” and a Smiley Face emoticon. We get it; you’re feeling like one of life’s losers. Own it.
In general, I loathe emoticons. I am well enough equipped to mangle the English language on my own without the addition of shallow symbols or acronyms, but I do revert to Internet shortcuts when writing texts. In my overall writing, I make a conscious effort to use these abbreviations sparingly. I would sooner sever a digit than use slang or emoticons in business email. I admit that my job as Minister of Tile is the embodiment of a comedy of errors, but I do try to give the illusion of being professional.
Recently at The Grind my computer was rendered inoperable when my hard drive became infected with a nasty virus that took a day to clear. I spent several hours on the phone with my company’s IT support service. Never once was I compelled to Laugh Out Loud.
No laughing at this.
After work, I was walking down West Broadway to the Chambers Street subway station en route to The Land of Gin and Tonic.
A happy place.
As I was passing Balloon Saloon, I encountered a giant yellow balloon Smiley.
Smiley.
I emitted a low growl:
Me: There’s the bastard that started this emoticon hysteria!
Smiley: I’m going to outlive you! LOL!
You’re a schmuck-ette!
That elicited the one Internet slang term I have had reason to use in daily life.
Me: WTF?
That does not mean With The Flowers.
Later, I Googled Smiley and learned from Wikipedia that its first known appearance was in 1953 on a poster for a film called Lili starring Leslie Caron. Apparently, it also appeared five years later, on the poster of another Caron vehicle, the multiple Oscar-winning Lerner and Loewe musical, Gigi. What blew the little that remains of my mind was the first time that Smiley appeared in a film. This was a drama written and directed by Ingmar Bergman called Port of Call, described in Wikipedia as follows:
“… this 1948 Swedish film deals with adolescent sexuality, promiscuity and abortion in a frank and open way that would have been impossible to portray in Hollywood films of the same period.”
Where Smiley fit in that story, I have no idea. The Swedish title of the film is Hamnstad, not, to employ a Le Clown-ism, “Hamnstad LOL 
”. Knowing the Bergman film canon as well as I do, this Glum face would seem much more appropriate than Smiley.
The Ingmar Bergman-worthy sibling of Smiley.
I purchased that Glum greeting card approximately twenty-five years ago. I have had so many friends I could have given it to, I regret not purchasing it by the case.
In 1963, a commercial artist named Harvey Ball was paid $45 to create a happy face symbol to raise the morale of employees at a Massachusetts-based insurance company. In ten minutes he created the yellow Smiley. Less than ten years later, Smiley exploded when two Phildelphia-based brothers Bernard and Murray Spain used it on novelty items including mugs, bumper stickers, and tee shirts. If you loathe the phrase, “Have a happy day,” blame Gyula Bogar. By 1972, a New York-based button manufacturer, NG Slater, produced 50 million happy face buttons. The population in the US that year was 209,896,021. If the average US household was comprised of four people (mine was comprised of six that year plus my dog, Mean Streak), there were 52.5 million households. Figure that almost everyone in the country had at least one of those irksome buttons.
“That really makes me smile!”
Yes, when I was thirteen I had one, too. You could not escape Smiley. And now forty years later, Smiley continues to thrive on the web. This vacant symbol and cockroaches will likely survive nuclear war. I’m not feeling very Lick Oggleby’s Lederhosen about that.
So confusing and all in French! WTF?
Thanks for the history/etymology of the smiley face emoticon. Gee, I really thought the image was created by Forrest Gump.
Nice backyard, Le Clown.
And have a nice day! ROTFLMAO.
Glad to know this post inspired you to make a spectacle of yourself at work Mike.
Which calls to mind the famous line delivered by actor Jack Dodson (Howard Sprague in The Andy Gridfith Show) as optometrist Mickey Malph to son Ralph Malph in Happy Days: I fell into the lens grinder at work and made a spectacle of myself.
Ow. No LOL there.
V,
ROFLMAOWEABSWWXFOTVBIIGTWXFANBISTSOOY.
LCLWN
Hey Le Clown, I bet some of those abbreviations are in French! WTF?
i loathe emoticons. to me, when used, they scream “i’m a lazy fucker who honestly is sick of talking with you so i’m gonna use an emoticon as an attempt to diffuse my laziness.” As if that’s even possible.
And, the only time I use “LOL” is when I complain about how much I loathe “LOL” and other abbreviations of that ilk.
Fuck. I need coffee.
I love your direct communication style. And for those around you, I pray that you got your morning caffeine jolt.
I did, punkin, i did.
You seemed to be rather feisty without it. I resisted saying spunky. Didn’t want to bring out the Lou Grant in you.
Eloquently expressed Jules. I share your loathing.
;–))) …
R.
Touche Robert!
Okay, probably I should leave some funny comment, but I unfortunately can’t think of one. I feel less than energetic this morning, so I won’t SMILE at you–except to say, this is a delightful post. Truly, this one is FP-worthy! Pitch perfect, my friend!
Hugs,
Kathy:)
Awwwwwwwwwwww Kathy! I highly doubt that WP is feeling very
over this post.
Didn’t your friend, Tas blog on the use this shorthand and how to discern the subtle subtext in meanings? Or did I imagine that? Not that I was stalking her site…
Wow, I completely forgot about that post of hers: http://wp.me/p1AdFD-6w Gee, don’t think she’ll LOL whenever she gets around to reading me.
I was just in NYC and I feel this
for missing out on the Balloon Saloon. FML. LOL.
Then, you must come back! That way you can un-FML (or un-FYL).
Smiley was ruined by Walmart. Now I want to slap that smile of his face.
I had never equated the emoticon with Smiley. I will never look at him the same way…
You’re right about Walmart! Thank you for adding that insight Susie. Bring on Glum face!
LOL
You couldn’t resist, could you?
OMG WTF I’m ROFLMAO, V.
Did you stick a pin in that happy face balloon? Because I would have been fishing around in my purse for something pointy to nail it with.
Didn’t have a pin on me, Weebs. I just had to endure that helium filled Lucifer face mocking me mercilessly.
You should have bought one and used it as a punching bag.
Inspired idea, but it probably would have bounced off me, I would have hit the ground hard and broken my obscure hurts-like-hell-and-will-never-heal-properly bone. Then suffer the indignation of it continuing to endlessly smile at me for eternity.
We are going to have to agree to disagree on this one. I love emoticons and use them a lot.
I wouldn’t if I had to appear professional though. Thank God I never have to appear professional.
When I was a teenager, I had a t-shirt with the big yellow smiley on it. The caption read: Have a Nice Day. The by-line in MUCH smaller letters, read Fuck Someone. Didn’t think the old man’s eyes were that good still but I was sadly mistaken.
I was wondering when you would pounce on this post. Yep, we disagree, but as you read, Smiley’s quite a smug jerk to me personally. Funny what one’s parents had the capacity to see. Looking back, I don’t think I got that much past them. They just let quite a bit slide.
Mine didn’t let ANYTHING slide. But then again, I took some stupid chances. My bad.
I suppose that’s one of the benefits of being born and raised in San Francisco. They mastered the art of looking away.
Sometimes that would be a good thing but I imagine at other times it must have sucked.
I appreciated it.
I couldn’t agree with you more regarding emoticons. I think they strip language of some of its beauty by substituting literalness (as literal as a symbol can be, I mean). It’s like making a joke that’s obviously a joke and adding (Just kidding!). I will use some slang in a professional email, but sparingly and deliberately.
I’d like to point out however, that LOL stands not for Lick Oggleby’s Lederhosen but rather, Lick OTTO’s Lederhosen. And I am NOT an imbecile. (Just kidding. For reals I am.)
That should read *by substituting literalness for nuance*
I agree with your comment.
I was torn between Oggleby, Orville and Otto — but when in doubt, I channel W.C. Fields (Og Oggilby in The Bank Dick; failed to research the proper spelling — time to resist going full idiot and inserting a Lick Otto’s Lederhosen here).
I didn’t even think about any emoticon’s back story, LA. Now, I’m imagining all of them having a background, even the
one!
Sorry…
I like to use emoticons occasionally (OK, often) but I don’t use abbreviations very often, like LOL or ROFL – I always misinterpret them and could end up using the wrong one. Once, when I was reading a lonely hearts advert, I thought the lonely heart was looking for someone with a good state of health… see what I mean?
Oh, and just spooted your mention of WC Fields there… made me smile!
Yes, you do have a fondness for the emoticons Tom. Actually the short hand goes as far back as Morse code and there’s even some debate about whether or not it was used in a speech delivered by Abraham Lincoln (but he never used LOL). I thought of you when I made the reference to Og.
I never realised until today just how much I do use them.
I’m sure Abraham Lincoln did use LOL at some point, but my knowledge of history is a little vague at times…
I spoot all the time! It’s a very quick spot, for future reference!
If you must spoot, do spoot here.
I’ll try not to. Fewer emoticons and spoots from this moment forward…
Well, I don’t take issue with you, the father of Walpole.
Ah thanks! I’ll do it discreetly then…
Yes, spoot discreetly.
I el-oh-elled all over my keyboard.
I always did prefer emotipros.
As opposed to emoticons? Or, is this a reference to Hallmark card-style flowery prose?
I think we just invented a new word. Nicely done.
Yeah! I like it!
Reblogged this on A Clown On Fire and commented:
I lawled out loud. This post was better than mine. Go and lawl yourself before I start adding some stupid ass emoticons.
Have to question this creeping multilateral blogging. Have either of you two filed proper Customs forms for importing intellectual property? I thought not.
Mike G,
The world’s longest undefended border…..
Le Clown
Since my bride works for a fine Canadian institution I will refrain from lobbing any lame ass comments toward our friends to the North. I
I grew up largely in my best friend’s house the first 15 years of my life. His parents were from St. Victoire (sp?) from Quebec Province. Despite the fact that they spoke mostly English to me, I rarely knew what the hell they we’re saying. The only French I learned was “shut your mouth” “you’re a pig” and “eat shit.”. An earthy family and I miss them greatly.
Mike G,
Sainte-Victoire perhaps? That would be close to Sorel… I’m sorry. As for the words you’ve learned, think about all the possibilities: pig shit, eat your mouth, a. Being a French-speaking Quebecois myself, I could never understand my grand-parents when they spoke English. Usually when they did, they were terribly angry. So I cried over their angered English.
Le Clown
Thanks. That’s what I recall, Sorel. Like I said, Leo and Rita Dufault were an earthy pair. House always smelled of turnip soup. You don’t easily forget that. Let me tell you.
Thanks Le Clown. Your post was motivating, you Tony Robbins of WordPress.
I recently went to a play where that very balloon beat puppets to death; you’re right to be suspicious.
I will definitely keep my pet stuffed goat far, far away from that evil balloon.
Great post, LA. Funny and point taken! I will remember NEVER to use emoticons when either commenting here or responding to your generous and thoughtful comments on my site.
You’re welcome Cathy. I see that you’re following Sara at http://lamentsandlullabies.wordpress.com/ lead and you’re using emotipros.
I can see it both ways. As someone who is dyslexic I have to say, I like the idea of using symbols. If “A picture is worth a thousand words,” then a smiley face must be worth, what, like ten? I’ll take the shortcut when it presents itself. Anyway, I grew up with the yellow smiley face, it’s like an old stupid friend.
I’m with Madame Weebles. I’d like to punch Smiley, but Smiley’s bigger and stronger and would probably roll over and flatten me like an Acme brand steamroller (courtesy of a Wile E. Coyote snafu). Thanks for visiting!
Does Oggilby know about this?
Emoticons: when we talk we prevalently use non verbal language. As the written word becomes more and more important, what’s the equivalent of NV communication? I suppose we have to go back to read old fashioned letters and correspondence to find out…
Good question about Oggilby, but rumor has it he’s been compelled to wear lederhosen with greater frequency.
I do speak frequent monosyllabic but when
comes out of my mouth that’s when I’ll slap myself. I always think of old fashioned letters and correspondence as being eloquently written in flowery script as opposed to shopping notes I scribble on the backs of envelopes to myself with reminders like, “Remember to pick up the thing — two of them.”
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I have to use smileys because otherwise everyone thinks I’m a huge FD. That’s and ABRV for female dog. ABRV is an abbreviation of abbreviation. And I’m saying female dog to avoid using the word bitch on your blog. oops.
In a separate communication, I told LA woman that I thought she didn’t have a problem with emoticons or even shorthand in general. Rather her problem lies with the mere existence of the smiley face.
Not a big fan of the abbreviations dumbing down the lingo, either.
What about slang, oh cunning linguist?
Subtle Mike.
And there’s the one about the midget Mensa members and the woman’s track team. But I am not going there.
Thank you for leaving the cunning runts off this site.
Glad you being housebound suffering a monumental butt kicking cold has not made you cranky.
I am sure your longing for the days of the church mouse. Hey, has anyone seen that tandem Chinese aerialist team? They were here a minute ago.
Just recovered from major lower backache; not taking on aerialists (this week).
Near my home, way up in the foothills, some odd and twisted person has placed a gigantic smiley face sign. It sits there amid nature, greeting us all when we take a walk into the foothills. I don’t know what kind of twisted, sick soul would do that to us, but there it is. I never feel compelled anymore to LOL when I see it. Of course, now, it’s almost hidden by smoke from nearby forest fires. I bet it’s not laughing now.
What a supreme act of misanthropy! On the other hand, if that sign had a message like “punch here” I would be inclined to call it an act of spiritual philanthropy. Good to hear from you buddy!
Thank you, LA. Yeah, I’ve been so out of touch. Too much going on these days.
I’ve figured. I hope you’ll soon weigh in about the GOP convention or at least take on voles again.
I noted yesterday that LA woman’s favorite daily read (as opposed to the weekly New Yorker), the NYT, jumped into the fray on this very issue. Unfortunately, Will Short and the Gray Lady have voted with their pens and have officially sanctioned a certain text abbreviation (ABRV). As evidence let me quote the clue to 6-Down in yesterday’s NYT Crossword: “U crack me up!”. The three letter answer is, brace yourselves, LOL.
The timing of that so pleased you Wingman.
Yes it did. As if fated by the gods. Note: that should be Will Shortz. My bad and apologies to the Indiana University alum.
Noted.
Holy poopballs LeClown… you are here too. You truly are a WP celebrity!
Yeah, that Le Clown fella is WP’s very own Barnum & Bailey.
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